Feeling lost
LKIN4BALNCE - Jun 17 2017 at 20:46
I've moved to 2 different states in the past 2 years for my husband. My 1st move was because he was relocated for work and we got engaged. My 2nd move was because he got promoted for his job. We were living in an apartment for the first 6months and then decided to finally buy a home since this would have been our final move for his job. I found a great job as well and we closed on our home. 15days later and after 10years with his company, he was laid off. Now we are living in a place we'd never of moved to otherwise. We are selling our home after living in it for less then 3 months.... my husband has applied for 100's of jobs and will most likely be getting a job in the state we origionally moved from. I'm so stressed. I'm stressed about my job (which can't support us both or the house we live in... but I enjoy my job and to me that makes it great), I am stressed about being so far from my family again if we move back the 1st place we moved from, I'm sad that we have to sell this home and I have to pack again, I'm sad about the stress it's put on our relationship.
After knowing my now husband for 13years (we've only been married 1 year and we broke up for a number of years before we got back together), it feels like I'm in the worst relationship. I know it's partly because of stress. But we've only been married a year and we don't have sex and he doesn't listen to me. I feel so lost and confused. What I thought was going to be a start of a nice life for us has resulted in stress, sadness and contemplation of divorce on my end. Money is tight and I'm scared of moving again because I dont handle transition well as it is. I'm almost 40 years old... no kids.... Why do I feel as lost as I did when I'm in my 20's? As a wife, I've done all the wifely duties well... clean/cook/pay the bills/reliable/organized... now that I'm the one working full time- it's hard to do all these things. I honestly feel like my husband has taken me for granted and doesn't listen to me. I'm not sure what to do...
I am so sorry for you in your situation. I can kind of relate as 10 months ago I moved my whole family 4 states away to be with my husband in his new job. It sucks and I hate it here. No friends. I never talk to an adult. I don't work outside the home as we have a special needs adopted teen that needs constant supervision. I am miserable.
I really don't have any advice for you but I didn't want your post to go unacknowledged because if anything in this world- I know what it feels like to be alone.
This move has caused constant strain on my marriage. I am miserable which of course spills over into the family. My husband and I separated for about a week but when I came back he wanted to jump back into everything and I wasn't ready to get physical and he got mad and now I think we are separating again.
So I don't think I was any help to you. But I just wanted you to know that you have been heard. I'm sorry.
I know that in today's working environment people are put in a stressful position. I'm put through it every day and I've been with the company almost thirty years.
I know you're both in a stressful situation with recently purchasing a home and now possibly have to put a contract on it. If your husband does have to go back to the state you left for employment would it be possible for him to commute? Maybe you could at least talk about the possibility or if anything on a trial basis.
Just a serving suggestion
Or.....if he does get a job in the state that you moved from maybe he could rent a studio apartment and then commute on weekends until you both sort things out.