I just feel empty
SHAD - Sep 13 2017 at 21:45
im unmotivated, unfulfilled, not sad, not happy
just
empty
nothing interests me like it used to, i dont want to write, i dont want to draw
i just worsen myself by wallowing
but i dont know how to get out
like some force inside me tears me away from things i want to do and instead makes me sit and make myself feel worse
im not productive, my time is spent on nothing, i have nothing to show for my time alive
few friends, no real relationships
alone
i dont know who to talk to about it
i pledge myself to listen to everyone but i dont know who would listen to me
i dont know what i would tell them if i did have someone to talk to
i worry people dont find me interesting or notable
like im just a background character in peoples lives
that i dont matter
i dont even think im anybodys best friend, people come to me with problems but nothing beyond that
i dont care about grades but theyre all that matter right now
my idea of being happy just seems to be out of reach at every intersection
i just take the wrong path, misstep constantly
and i hate it, i just want to be happy
i want everyone to be happy but it never works i either mess things up for myself or them
if i could leave everything behind to be with someone i love id take it in a heartbeat
because i cant stand the idea of living how i am now the rest of my life
SOunds like you are suffering from depression, which is a chemical balance in the brain. A doctor can assess this and prescribe medication. OFten the meds take about 20-30 days for maximum benefits and finding an interest that involves other people will also improve your feelings. Helping others in need through volunteer work is often a good way to meet people as well. I have suffered from depression for many years( it runs in the family ) but with the aid of meds, and forcing myself to help others less priveledged then myself, and listening to music daily, no one would know I was depressed. I hope these suggestions can help you. If you feel like hurting yourself as a result of your loneliness or depression, please seek help immediately.