Need advice badly on wife using meth

For around a year off and on my wife has been lying and using meth. The last 6 months i keep finding pipes and bags and meth and she is acting like she is high. The only way she admits it is when i actually find the stuff and show her. Then she says its the first time she used in a long time. I used to be an addict with pills and i enjoyed using adderal im worried one of these times im going to be weak and use with her. Ive been sober and in treatment for 4 years. Each time i tell her im leaving next time you use, i end up saying that again, and again. I never actually do it. Im starting to resent her. Im just stuck in a vicious circle. And i know i have to just leave but its so much harder to do it. Im so miserable and have no contact to anyone who can offer support.

I’m very sorry for this challenge. This is one the more addicting narcotics and is extremely difficult from which to detoxify. It may take a village. The question I think you are asking is if you should continue to be a part of the village. The first piece of hope I give you is you are not alone. Yes, you are in a challenging cycle with the first real threat being you falling off the wagon. Good recognition. How did you end up in therapy? Who was it that was able to get you to rehab? If not yourself, could this person help with your wife? Have you contacted Methadone clinics? Who does your wife trust unconditionally? I’m afraid if you leave the “village” there is a good chance your wife may abandon all hope. This will be difficult for you deciding between the threat to yourself and the noble need to help. Perhaps the desire to help will replace the desire to use. Keep us informed on your progress and hers.