I don't know what to do with my life anymore

I am 19 years old and Im lost. I am born and raised in a broken home where my dad and mom have been fighting for years. I even had to stop my mom from suiciding many times. I was also diagnosed with keratoconus( an eye disease) when I was 14. There have been some ups and downs, but I tried my best to work through school. I had many pretigious academic prizes in high school and landed myself on a fully funded undergraduate program abroad. Ironically, the day when I was supposed to set off for school, my eyes started to hurt again, and I was hospitalized for months. I missed my scholarship and ended up in staying with my parents where I had to witness their fights getting more and more tense. I cant see my way out of this. I contemplate killing myself everyday...