We love each other, but I cannot be the breadwinner anymore

I am 28, in a lasting relationship with a man I love, and who loves me. We are an epithomy of man-woman differences, but we are still together, still loving each other. However, I really feel pressured lately. First of all, I feel that I am receiving mixed messages from him regarding money. We both come from middle class families (his being somewhat more disadvantaged than mine when we have been kids) and we both believe that it is not the money that brings happiness. However, life cannot do without them and he cannot cope with a middle. He either has a lot in his pocket or has none. I have been brought up to save for "black days", and he is the type of guy who lives for today and if he has a lot today, he'll spend it in no time (that includes presents for other people as well) - the point is, he does not have a saving account. I have started lending him money 5 years ago. Up till now, I have been the one who has had a job continually, and all this time with higher salary. He IS returning the money he borrows, however, it often happens later than he had thought he'd be able to (and there had been situations where instead of returning it to me he had decided to reinvest it, or had bought me some present. which makes him feel good, and I would prefer other order of priorities, but ok...). 4 years ago he quit his first job and was jobless for more than a year. At that time we were living with our parents, so it bothered me only from the perspective that although I am capable of being a breadwinner, I want a man who would be an able provider, I'll be there as well, side by side, but a man needs to be a provider. It was I who found him a job ultimately. In the meantime, he made some endeavors to earn big money and failed, and I am OK with it, those who risk may get more, but also lose more, and the second happened to him. But, OUR problems. Three years ago we bought a car together, which was a mistake. We moved in together, but we were totally unprepared for that. Never mind other issues, we decided to sell the car and separated flats. He sold it to a friend, and I never got my share. He said he would return it to me as soon as it is paid to him, but his friend's father had been sick and my bf did not want to pressure his friend for the money in such times. And that is where all our financial problems started. I was very angry that he made a decision about MY money (however noble) and told him that that should never ever happen again. Further along, I had been lending him even more money because of mistakes he had made. Namely, in his wish to be the big provider, to buy a flat, a car, have account with saving and provide for a better life for us, he made few risky investments that got him to a worse position than he had been. However, I did not hold grudges because I knew that his intentions have been noble. On the other hand, life is not a game. We cannot infinitely experiment and risk. Especially not when my dreams have been neglected in the meantime. 90% of my savings are landed (80% of that to him). And it's going on. Some 5 months ago he quit his job. I asked him if he had a plan B, he said yes, but he needed some rest since he started having health issues. I gave him full support for that - no work and money is worth someone's health. However, it turned out that he cannot proceed with his plan B because it meant yet another investment he has no money for - and the expected money from previous ones haven't seen light yet, so this idea may and may not happen for some time. So, we live on my salary and he insists that I consider it a loan that he will get back to me, therefore we do not try to change our spending habits drastically. But I'm already exhausted. And he knows that. We have had fights about it because it has been years that he owes me money and even if I am patient for the debts I simply cannot do any more with lending him. I have HIDDEN money for emergencies he knows not about. Small sum, but without it I'd feel totally stressed out. I had hopes that I would never have to hide from him. The company where I work is closing in a month. There is a slight prospect that we will immediately be transferred, so, although it is not definite, I need to be ready to embrace the fact of not having a job within a month. And I will need to live on something afterward. None of our 4 parents is working due to the recession. So it is out of question that I become a burden to the savings of my parents. I have been economically independent for many years. And I could have been for at least two more years even without a job had I been a bit more selfish. But there were times when I was "buying" the peace in the house. He would be under pressure with debts and I'd help him. Now I have money to allow myself to find a new job within 2 months or I go back home to mummy and daddy. And the very worst part of the story is that his man ego is so affected that he is not the provider and that his plans have gone askew, that I fear being more strict with him not to hurt him even more. So I care for our living costs, I care for his ego, I will most probably not go on a vacation this years because I do not have the money for both (and I NEEDED that vacation), I am still paying the loan for "our car" (so ironic...) and he is in the middle of expecting realizations of his endeavors and is FAR from actively seeking a job. Sometimes I lose it. We fight and I emphasis the fact that I am working and he is sleeping and plying computer games and I know it hurts. I know that he is considering to start looking for a job and INDEFINITELY wants to return me my money and be the man provider, but it all comes to waiting if things happen, or taking risks to cover it all which adds to my stress. I really do not know how to untangle. It is in my deepest values that I do not abandon loved ones when they need me most, so leaving him is out of question. I just needed to take this out so much. Nobody knows. If I told my parents that things were so bad financially they would either judge him or tell me that I am as naive as it gets. The thing is that they do not know what he had been through with the wish to make something for us, so they see only what can be seen - no job, spending my money and playing computer games (this is yet additional pressure for me). I told him last month that he needed to find money for living costs somehow because I needed to save some for vacation and if I remain jobless. He was expecting some money and was sooooo positive he would have them on "Wednesday" that I supported him last month as well. There was a delay in getting them and that delay will last for some time. There is a new promised deadline, but I somehow do not rely on it. Do not know what to do any more. At least I've taken it out.