She cannot take the place of my mother

I made the mistake of letting my ex. step-mother back into my life one to many times. Now she is like the plague and will not go a way. She is old and can no longer take care of herself and my daughter is going to let her live with her probably out of a sense of obligation. My ex. step-mother wants me to call her mom and tell everyone I am her daughter and leave the step out. She also wants my daughter to call her grandma. My daughter calls her grandma partly because I aloud her to enter our lives and for a while when my children were young aloud her fill the roll of grandmother as my mother is dead. This was a big mistake. What do I do?

hi, i think that all you can do is try to make her understand that you have your own lives and she can't obligate you do take care of her. don't let her take over your lives. you need to talk to her and make her understand. i know it's very hard, but if you don't, you will be miserable as long as she is around, and you should not let anyone do that to you or your daughter.