Anxiety and depression

I am an 18 year old female and I have had anxiety ever since I can remember. My biggest problem is that no one I want to talk about it to really understands what it does to you, my bestfrend used to have anxiety too but like most people he grew out of it before he really hit puberty, but I wasn't lucky enough to shake it. Since I was 12 I have also been in and out of depression and I think about suicide everyday, it's been like this for years so I'm not too concerned that I will actually attempt it but both my anxiety and depression are a huge issue for me. In January of this year I managed to gather the courage to tell my mum that I wanted to get help for my anxiety as it prevents me from going just about anything but she just completely shut me down like I was being ridiculous about needing professional help. It took me seven years to reach out and I have no idea how long it will be before I can bring myself to do it again. I have thought about seeking professional help myself but I am broke and have selective mutism so I almost always need an advocate with me when talking to strangers. Does anyone have any advice that could possible help me out? Thank you.

You are 18 now, so you can do this on your own! (seek help)... Everyone has different views on mental health and unfortunately some people just don't understand and/or were mis-educated. It sounds like your mom is either in that boat, or may be denying to herself that you have a problem. Either way, I wouldn't take it personally or let her reaction set you back too much. You cannot control other's feelings or what they understand from what you try to convey. I do think you need to see a therapist and that it would help you a lot. First of all, what state do you live in? Most, if not all states, have government-issued health insurance that you can apply for (if you aren't already on an insurance plan with your parents) and have even more options as far as help when it comes to mental and behavioral issues. I would look into that, ASAP (I can help you with the research on that front if anything!). Second, you said you have a best friend... even though he has gotten over his anxiety, maybe he would still be willing to help you as far as acting as an advocate for you? Or do you have anyone else who would act as an advocate? (Sibling, other friend, other family member, teacher... anyone you can trust in that aspect?) It's great that you've decided that you need the help. That's the first step to recovery. I'm proud of you for that. YOU GOT THIS!

Thank you for your reply, your concern really means a lot to me and you make a lot of good points which I will definitely take into consideration.

Hi LADYLUCIFER It's quite heartbreaking to see your problem, considering so many people out there are having fun right now but you seem depressed and lonely. I don't know what's the root of depression, maybe it's about family problems, academics, social influence, or what? There must be a big root that you need to find which causes you to become like this (and I hope you won't step further before you find it because it's important). Anxiety is not something that happens without reasons. I believe there's a trigger behind and I hope it's no more than one. "My biggest problem is that no one I want to talk about it to really understands what it does to you". Even if you have found the root cause, people won't even understand it, how much more they don't if you don't find the root cause itself! Believe me, people are having depression like you but in certain level that they ignore for their own conscience. You actually no need in hurry for professional help because depression and anxiety relate to mindset and mentality. By means if you have applied right attitude and mindset you won't experience such depression and anxiety. For example : a child might have abusive father that she thinks she's the most unfortunate children in the world. If he understands that it's her father that got a deficiency in character, realized that there are so many father out there that is not like hers, knows that somebody out there bears worse than her, and understand that the future expands infront of her that makes her able to change her fate, she won't be affected much by this abusive treatment. So won't you, if you applied the right attitude and mindset. My advice to you, life is too short and too precious to absorb the negativity and hope people to understand you. Many people are depressed, but not to the extent they think suicidal. Suicide will not arise that fast in thought, unless you are greatly negative (which is worse I think) that makes the evil has opportunity to destroy you. However, if you follow these negativity, it will be a great loss to you, because you don't finish as a winner. So find the root cause, mindset, and attitude as soon as possible. So many people have depression and able to cope with that without professional help. Just keep on searching many articles. ;-D (Y)