Panic attacks and guilt about fake cumming

I have been with my bf for 5 months and we are very in love, are with each other almost 24/7 and dream about spending our whole lives together. I cannot cum from sex at all i have only ever been able to cum if its by myself. However i have fake cummed for my bf everytime we have had sex sometimes even more than once per session. I really enjoy our sex it doesnt bother me that i cant cum there is so much i love about havig sex with him. When i fake cum i only do so when i feel an intensely emotional or physically amazing part of sex like when he is doing it really well and/or looks amazing and when theres passion - it is never to get the sex finished or anything. I dont feel able to tell him i have fake cummed because he has trust issues and it feels like an intimate thig ive lied about. He said his ex couldnt cum from sex and he found that really difficuly to deal with and didnt enjoy the sex. Initialy i didnt think it was a problem to fake vecause i was genuinely enjoying it and he loves the idea of me cumming and it makes us both more enthusiastic for sex if the other one seems to enjoy it we both love having sex together. I also find it a really good way of showing him my appreciation and love. However now i am feeling really guilty and having horrible anxiety and stress about feeling like ive lied and feeling like i cant tell hin about me faking. I love him so much and would hate to drive him away sexually or lead him to split up with me. I dont want him to feel demasculated or betrayed by my faking either because i love him. I dont know how to tell him and i am convinced that tellig him will cause permanent damage. He is 5/6 years older than me (20yo and hes 25) I dont know how to handle this stress i wish i had never faked in the first place so he knows i love having sex with him even without cumming. What shall i do? Am i being too hard on myself as i dont mean him any harm i just want to feel connected to him in a more real way.