Pregnant and my bf has ended our relationship
TLET88 - Jul 16 2018 at 18:30
Hi, I am not sure who to reach out to or who can help me with this. I am 2 months pregnant and have had a few misscarriages. My boyfriend and I do not know how to communicate with each other without getting into a full blown fight in which it ends up with him breaking up with me and telling me how awful I am and how his family and friends don’t know how he has put up with me and tell him to leave. He has ended things again a few days ago as I had bleeding and cramping on Wednesday and asked if he could take me to the doctor after work. He informed me I could go myself and he was sorry to hear that but he was planning on trying to go golfing. I found out he had lied over social media and went out partying all night and did not return for 2 days. When he did get back he said all he wants to do is have fun and I’m trying to take that away from him and again he has told ‘his entire family and friends’ that I am trying to control his life by not wanting him to have fun. It’s not that I am trying to ruin his life and I’ve told him that I was hurt and felt like I didn’t matter and his comment of I’m sorry that happened (thinking I was misscarrying) was insincere. So now it’s been 5 days he has still gone out partying, told me he’s done and for me to pack my belongings and leave. I’ve taken care of his 2 daughters from a previous relationship. Spent all weekend with them while he continued to go out and call me toxic and the second after his children went to there moms he disappeared again. I don’t know how to talk to him, I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, I don’t know if this can be fixed but I want to fix it and I am completely broken. I’ve tried so hard for the past 2 years to make things work and I don’t know what to do now that we are staying in the same place, he goes out of his way to be short and make rude comments at me, I’m pregnant and don’t want to misscarry again and I don’t want to be alone and pregnant and not share what I thought would be he happiest time of our lives, together.
Wow. The first response is a bit harsh and judgmental. I would never terminate a pregnancy as I love and adore kids and have spent 2 years contributing to helping my now ex raise his children. I forgot to leave out that he even if he is gone a lot is an amazing father. Just a terrible boyfriend. I guess I’m just in distress and heart broken and maybe what has happened was meant to happen. I’m trying to be optimistic but I’m also unbelievably emotional and that will probably change. Thank you for your feedback.
Hey girl,
Well if you don't mind me saying he sounds like an extra kid you would need to take care of.
If I was you, I would put myself first and leave him. He sounds a bit like he is using you as someone to take care of his kids, and now you're pregnant and he cant take responsibility of that either.
It's a really scary thought to leave someone who you have invested so much time and effort in. Its even worse when you love the person. But you need to think about you're whole future and what whats best for you. Can you see him changing? Do you want to keep dealing the rest of you're life with this guy? If the answer is no then I would leave him.
Leave him with you're head held high and you're chin up. You're worth so much more then the people who put you down.
If you do leave him here is my advice:
Keep it as positive as possible- Yeah you're gonna have some arguments. But you've also got to think about the kids. Clearly you love them and you sound like you would be a great role model for them. So see if there is a way you can stay in their lives.
Thank you for the response. Things have just gotten progressively worse where he’s now told me I have 2 weeks to find a new place and be out. He’s taken his kids to his moms house and said he is staying there until I am gone. Rest assured I am completely heart broken and as much as I hate him right now I still see the good in him and keep thinking of all the memory’s. it’s not healthy and I wasn’t happy so I’m checking out of this unhappy toxic circle I keep getting trapped in. He shows more everyday he doesn’t care and felt the need to text me today saying he wishes me the best. Lol I’m not sure whether to laugh or just let that consume more of my time as he doesn’t care at all.