Should I confront my boyfriend

My boyfriend of 9 years recently took several xanax. He went on a walk and was gone 5 hours.After he came back and fell asleep I checked his phone and saw several explicit messages to his ex wife who lives 5 blocks from us. He did go there but im not sure what happened. Do you think the pills he took prompted his behavior. I have heard that it is no excuse. He is unaware i looked at his phone. Should i confront him

Hi, I don't know the effects of the pill he's taking, most pills have side effects, you can always look it up, but don't see that as an excuse to how he's behaving. Definitely some talking/confronting and expaining on his behalf needs to be done. I'm guessing you checked his phone coz you knew something wasn't right. The clues that he's up to no gd are all there, he has messages on his phone to ex wife who doesn't live far away. he can't of been out on a walk for five hours?

Thanks. Actually i never had a second thought about his ex as he has a 9 yr old daughter with her. I checked his phone after the fact to see if thats where he may have been. I am not good at confrontations in any form but i am devastated by this whole thing. I know he will blame it on the pills. However when i rechecked the texts there was also explicit language 4 days earlier. I just thought it was all on one day but that was not the case.I actually took pics of the texts. Thanks for your opinion.

Thanks for your advice. I think he got them from a "friend". I just dont think that gives him an excuse or a pass on his behavior.

Dont confront him Itll come around to bite him in the ass You need to stay innocent or he will make you the bad guy for snooping Id say maybe his guilt will catch up with him if hes goin where he shouldnt be Id say you guys should move but if theres a kid with the ex its complicated

Im trying not to confront him but it is killing me. He always said he didnt care what i looked at on his phone anyway. Says he has nothing to ever hide. Something has died inside of me to the point i hate even bein around him. But he has no clue because im still being my same old self around him.

Hi Do you think that it's killing you'because you are not confronting him? Ignoring it isn't going to make it better, it's going to keep on bothering you and he is going to continue to get away with what ever he's doing. It's not fair on you. It's not easy confronting someone, it doesn't mean you have to shout or have a full blown argument. think about what you what to say and choose a good moment. He can't blame medication (that's is not actually his, so it's self inflicted ) on his behaviour because then, everyone else who takes anti depressants would be usuing the same excuses.

Thanks. People tell me ill end up looking bad for snooping. Maybe thats what it is. But i will pick the right time and place and try to discuss the matter. Thanks so much. Ill update.