I think my husband wants to leave me?

I don’t really know where to begin, I guess I’ll start with last nights incident. My husband and I were having a few drinks, and out of the blue when he came back from the restroom. I had heard a loud noise, so when he came back I asked what happened and he responded with “ I’m falling out of love with you “ Like wtf?!? He just sat there for a second and didn’t say a word...then upon realizing how upset it made me he was retracting the comment and said he was just kidding. But of course I was still upset so he then flips it on me and gets mad because I was having a hard time not being mad and upset about it. So I know involving alcohol doesn’t help but I can’t help but think and wonder if this was intentional? To help with a bit of a background I have caught my husband in the past year on a dating website where he chatted with a women and actually made plans to meet up with her, if he did I have no idea.....And still to this day he denies it, he says someone else did it and made the account in his name but I found all password and user names from his phone. I still don’t believe him, I’m still upset about that and have tried to bring it up again but he laughs it off. We have been married now for almost 10yrs so I try and rationalize and think maybe he was just looking to see if he could still pick up women? I’ve been hurt in the past and I’m trying really hard to get over my trust issues but I just don’t know what to believe anymore. More often than not he does say how he loves me and could never live without me but other times he says and does dumb stuff like this and I’m left wondering if he really does want to leave?

Hi, I can see why you are left feeling insecure after this incident (with a bit of imagination) and why you are questioning him. I think he was testing you to see how you would react. It was a sh**ty thing to say, he must of known that your reaction wasn't going to be good and it would make you angry and upset. A lot of people wouldn't react well. He can't get mad at you after saying that to you, that says something in its self. It was random, with no explanation as to how it was meant as a 'joke', you weren't in a middle of having one, and there was no reassurance after. I really don't like that fact that you have caught him on a dating website, talking to another women and not knowing if anything came of it. He excuse to some setting it up under his name is not believable...not to me anyway, + the login details on his phone (?!). It sounds like he's left you with a lot of mixed feelings, some unexplained and with the feeling like you can't trust him which is unfair.