Am I overreacting to my wife being groped by a gay man?

I organised a surprise 40th for my wife. She has 2 good male friends from work who came to the party. Throughout the night I saw one of them feel my wife's bum 4 times. The 4th time his hand was very far down & his fingers were between her legs. I spoke to him & told him to keep his hands to himself. He said he was gay & not interested in women & didn't realise he was doing it then stormed off. My wife doesn't seem to understand what MY problem is because he does it to all his female friends. To me groping is groping gay or otherwise. Am I overreacting?

Hi Pedro. No, I really don't think you're overreacting at all! It's bad enough there's some groping going on, but the way you're describing it seems way too intimate. If you're uncomfortable with it, your girlfriend should be. I'm trying to wrap my brain around why a gay man would even want to touch females like that. Is it possible it's all just an act to touch women inappropriately? How long has your wife known these two good friends, and how did they become friends/what did they become friends over?

I agree that it is strange behaviour for a gay man. I would just like to ask Pedro honestly - since this happened, have you felt just the slightest twinge of excitement while thinking about what happened ? Your wife obviously didn't mind the attention, was she totally oblivious to it, or did she possibly enjoy the attention ? I do understand how married couples tend to try to stick to what is socially acceptable, but if there is any chance that you both enjoy the memory of what happened (after the initial shock), then you could have a lot of fun with the fantasy, and maybe the reality of this realisation. On the other hand, if she found it acceptable and you are still annoyed by it, then you could have a problem looming.