Female friend okay in relationship??!!!
LUCKYMAX - Oct 28 2018 at 01:16
I have been in a relationship with the same man for many years. Female friends have always been a issue. About two years ago I said. . I can not marry you & I can not be with you if you have female friends that you call and hang around. Basically, I'm not dealing with a female calling my husband her best friend. Fast forward to a year later. I see he has developed a friendship with another female. I address this (I probably blow up) he basically gaslights me. . .Oh she is his friends friend . . .not his. He is only around her because she is around them. I pretty they are friends. He hides a lot of stuff. Her phone number shows up all over the phone bill. I have reached the last straw. . . As I was combing out his beard the other night a long hair not matching mine came out. He said who it was & that him and his friend were sitting in the car with her. He says he knows what he does looks wrong but he is not cheating on me. Whoever else I find will though. I just don't know what to do. As long as this is going on I will not be happy.
Hi LuckyMax,
So let me just say, there is nothing wrong with someone having friends that are the opposite sex. If I dated someone I wouldn't expect her to drop her friends for us. You shouldn't try to control your partner's friendships. Is he trying to control yours?
By becoming obsessed with your husband having female friends, you may have created a liar out of him. Most people won't weed friends out of their life due to their partner's jealousy. Instead, they'll try to respect the partner's wishes as best they can, but also handle things as they themselves deem rational and reasonable.
I have a friend, and he and his partner have a controlling friendship that goes both ways. He can have no female friends, she can have no male friends. It is extremely unhealthy, and my friend often avoids coming around for fear that my other, female friend will be around. He still occasionally takes the chance to show up, and sometimes the female friend is present. But you know, not many people get through life without crossing paths with people who are not you.
I will say that since you didn't specify your gender I am assuming you are female, though I realize you could be male. In that case, do you have some disgust towards women?
Either way.... What's your issue with your man having close friends that are female?