Dilemma

I have been happily married for over 20 years to a wonderful woman and have two great grown up sons. My wife and I joined a choir earlier in the year and have made lots of new friends some of whom we see for social events & nights out outside of choir sessions. One of the friends is a very attractive, outgoing woman around 12 years younger than me that I get on very well with, have a laugh and enjoy her company. She is single but looking for someone special. I am becoming increasingly attracted to her, she says she is very fond of us both but I can't help thinking about her a lot of the time. My wife is I'm sure unaware of my feelings (as is the friend). This is the first time I have felt this way about any woman since I meet my wife. I really don't know what to do as her friendship is very important to both of us and I love my wife dearly and don't want to ruin anyone's lives. Is it best to just say nothing, enjoy the friendship and carry on as I am and just keep my feelings to myself ?

I agree with SUSIEDQQ, your married and unless you are unhappy in your marriage and want to divorce your wife then I suggest you keep your distance from her. It is a very slippery slope and one you may never recover from. Had you also thought of what it would do to your family? What if the friend isn’t interested and then your wife finds out you were interested in another woman? You could be left without either one! She is pretty, put it away and focus on your wife. Good luck

You are having thoughts and feelings more than "Oh, what an attractive girl" and "isn't she pleasant" and that's why you are writing to us. My advice would be to distance yourself as much as possible from this woman. Your "friendship" that you and your wife have with her is certainly not as important as your relationship with your wife. Get your head together and examine what these feelings are. You are not dead so of course you will find other women attractive but, it sounds like it's a bit more than that. Stay away and let it pass.