My life is a mess

Where do I start? I'm 15, male and a mess. Maybe the fact that I've been kicked out of school for the second time, for smoking weed before school. There's also this guy I like, (well, liked) who showed people the texts I sent him which were meant to be private. I have also been using heroin since everything has become so much worse than before. I'm not addicted to it and just threw it out at one point as my friends said I started to look sick. I don't know what to do, I am a dropout stoner in a bad place right now, anxious and depressed and confused and hurt. I need help but do not want to worry my mother, hence the reason I'm posting on here. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Wow! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate! I think that the first thing you should think about doing is outreaching to a Mental Health Clinician. It is not going to get better for you unless you seek someone professional advice. I know that it is tough right now and the high standards that you have to carry and live up to but your mental health and well being is the most important thing to be focused on. I think that you just have had a hard time seeing the light at the end of a tunnel and that is why support and resources in your town and community will be a huge help I wish you the best of luck and stay focused and know that you are not alone and maybe attending outreach meetings could help Alex

I'm already seeing mental health expert but my mum would obviously find out about the heroin, and I don't want her worrying because it's happened before. At one point I was hospitalised for my mental health issues, I was suicidal. It was getting better but I don't know what's happened. Alot of the stress is about the guy. He's not texting me back. It might've been him but it's a bit complicated. My phone was taken as someone threatened to stab me and they had the password, they couldve seen the texts and showed them. I reset my phone on Google find my phone, but it took a while to get home. I text him saying "I don't know why you're ignoring me. At least tell me and if you don't say anything then you can keep the rest of the weed" he hasn't responded yet, and I know he's not in school at this moment in time so idk what to do. I'll tell my mental health clinician about everything apart from the heroin, and get more help. But for the mean time, if he doesn't respond, I will just leave it at that. I text him a couple days earlier asking if he showed to text a to people, he didn't reply. He either thinks I showed people the texts or he know he showed people the texts. His line of communication is shit and leaving me on my toes wondering what I've done.

Hello, My name is Kevin. I've had personal problems too. I've struggled with emotional problems, addictions and codependency, and there's been A LOT of improvement for me. I've been taking anti-depressant medications. Also I've been doing the 12 Steps of Recovery. I invite you to Google "12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous". There are Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and other 12 Step "Anonymous" groups (like Emotions Anonymous, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery). I've gotten over a huge chunk of my hurts, hang-ups and habits, and I have hope for even more life-healing for me. Again, I invite you to Google "12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous". May peace be with you, Kevin