Internet dating while married?

Hello, I am after some reactions to show to my wife. I think that she needs to get a reality check. I'm hoping that the responses I get on this forum will help her to see sense. She wants to divorce me, and I think this is an entirely unreasonable reaction. The issues began around a year ago. She had been ill on and off for some time. I had begun visiting internet dating websites because I was questioning the relationship and thought there might be something better out there for me. I did indicate to her that I wanted to stay in our relationship, because at that time she was indicating that she was unhappy and I wanted to make sure that she was still around in case I didn't find a good alternative. She then visited a doctor who told her that she needed to have a test for ovarian cancer. She totally overreacted to this (this is the usual situation), and came to me just before we were due to go on a holiday to Europe. She said she was concerned about what was going to happen if it did turn out to be terminal, because she'd had the symptoms for a while blah blah. I was very angry that she tried to drag me into this problem. Not only were we just about to go on a holiday together, but I was booked to go on a bike trip that I'd had booked for months (and had been training for). I reminded her that other people were excited about us visiting Europe to see them, and that I was not prepared to cancel my bike trip just because she was doing some "test". I told her I was not prepared to put my life on hold just because she had a problem at that time. Again, she totally overreacted. She said that it was clear that I did not care what happened to her (what does this mean? that all of her problems should be mine too?). Of course, the test result came back and it was all fine. But she wouldn't let go of it. She said she wanted a divorce. I begged her at that time to stay in the relationship and said I was completely committed to it, and didn't have an alternative. so she stayed. Once she decided to "forgive" me and stay, I went back to these internet dating sites and put up my own profile and began contacting other women. She recently discovered this and again is now demanding that we separate. I have again told her that I am entirely committed to the relationship, but secretly I believe that she is being entirely unreasonable. What do you think? Do you think it is actually me who should be calling it quits? Any advice would be appreciated.

To be honest Im not surprised your wife wants a divorce you seem to be a really coldhearted and selfish person, but completely unaware of it. You visit dating sites because your wife was ill instead of being there for her. Then when she has devistating news you put your own interests first and seem unaware of how she must be feeling. She probably would be better off without you.

"what does this mean? that all of her problems should be mine too?" Of course they should be. You clearly are not commited to your relationship nor do you love your partner. Your WIFE has been ill, bad enough for her GP to recommend a Cancer test, and your worrying about a bike trip? you disgust me. I hope you do seperate, a monkey has more compassion than you.

Ladies, I'm going to give you a few home truths. ALL men (no exceptions!) basically see their wives as moms - it is a wife's job to support her husband in whatever he wants to do. That might include checking out internet dating sites, but get over it!! Men need more than a wife at home, and no matter what other people tell you, ALL men get excited when they see pictures of pretty girls smiling at them. No exceptions. Sorry ladies, it's the truth. My wife, for whatever reason, fails to fulfill her responsibilities to me. I have explained to her that the reason I have not been more successful is that she did not support me as she should have. She has claimed that she works a 60 hour work week and that she should have the same rights as me, but let's get real - it is the job of a woman to support her husband no matter what, and to keep the house in order. Sad, perhaps, but true. I guess she is not the only one who needs a reality check around here!! How about hearing from some guys now?

dont be such a sexist pig, that may be how YOU were raised but it damn sure isnt how ALL men feel, women arent supposed to support a man in everything its mutual; you support eachother. yes men do like looking at pretty women its nature but it doesnt give you the right to seek relationships with them unless youre single not in a monogamous marriage i really hope she divorces your worthless ass you sound like you have a narcissitic personality disorder she works 60 hours a week, was extremely ill on and off so badly she needed a terminal cancer check and youre there checking dating websites and worrying about some stupid bike ride.. bro youre a loser tbh i bet you dont even have a job and id like nothing more than to beat your ass

Josh, do you have a problem with sexist pigs. Come on mate we have eyes and like to look at pretty nude girls with great tits, tight buns and long legs to heaven. Who sets the rules for marriage - ethics committee. I mean norret the wife has an illness that may be terminal and he needs an outlet other than his marriage and there is no law written in concrete to say no internet dating because one is married. Marriage can be a death sentence in itself as a stand alone entity. Your post norret screams out for compassion for those who are in jailed marriages and where wives think they wear their husband underwear instead of thier own secret victoria underwear. They are the dangerous women who want to rule the world like Beyonce but wear thier husbands underwear instead of making thier own money and craving out thier niche in the world, they are leeches and stuck out your blood while smiling that sexy smile with the teeth that you paid for.

Please let her go so she can find someone else who will treat her like she deserves to be treated, you will be doing her a HUGE favor. Go back to the internet and live there. Good luck finding someone else who will like your selfish emotional unavailable butt. Before you get on a bike again go get some therapy first, you REALLY NEED HELP.

What the fuck madwitt. The man, Norret needs your compassion not your excess baggage and verbal torment. You know what, no wonder he lives in the computer and rides his bike in winter instead of using the car his wife sounds like a nut. Maybe, she is the one dragging him in a neck chain like a albatrass around his neck. We don't know what is really going on for him to ride his bike and live in a computer and he might be a penny pinncher saving his pennies and working hard for his pennies. Maybe, he is the hard working one, Norret the husband, and paying for everything and he gets better sex with a stranger and his emotional needs met rather than a selfish and unemotional man who lives inside the computer. Maybe, I will do an intensive therapy pyschotherapy with the couple and you madwitt keep your day job and if you are unemployed don't do community service work as you are judmental and you don't have the qualities or skills to do relationship therapy. Maybe, art is your thing instead of peoples problems and you are in an unhappy relationship yourself and can't give critical analysis without being subjective instead of unbasis. What's your problem madwitt.

Please tell me you're trolling this board and the story is bogus so i can have the satisfaction of knowing i was one of the only ones in the comment section to realize you were 'joking'.

Hi Jess, read the response from SARONNA and get a reality check please, I'm sorry to shatter your naive views, but grow up!! I think it's just really interesting that women want to be treated like grown ups but they want to hold on to their childish romantic views at the same time. If I didn't know better I'd think that some of the people who have replied to me on this site were my wife in disguise. I guess it does figure to an extent that I'd find a lot like her on this site. And by the way, this person you are all supporting... she has also said that if we divorce, I will only be entitled to the proportion of the house value that I paid toward the mortgage... which will mean I only get a third of the payout from the house!! She constantly told me that if in any week I was skint, I could drop my payment for the mortgage, no problem. NOW, just because she has been through my accounts and has found out that I was spending that money on dating sites and bikes, she thinks that she is entitled to rob me of my share of the house payment!! so what if I chose to spend my money on those things rather than making regular payments on the mortgage? I think it is fair to say that EVERYTHING that is owned by a couple should be split in half if they break up. So there's your lovely lady for you. She thinks the fact that she has been a goody-two-shoes and priortised a mortgage over LIVING means she's entitled to ruin my life as well. So that's your lovely lady for you. Thanks for your support by the way, Jess, really compassionate.

MackNNorret i only read the first few sentences because i actually have a life. But your comment seems so surreal. You're obviously old so stick with your wife or you'll die alone. Hey i feel you, I broke up with an exboyfriend because i found a another guy who was not only sexier but had a better personlity and wasent boring. But if your wife wants a divorce let her have one she obviously dont want you LOL.

Is it that you do not realize how selfish you sound,imagine the shoes were on the other foot and your wife says to you,honey I've been practicing to go dancing in Europe and I've looking forward to the stars,as such I cannot put it on hold just because of your stupid test.I'm sure you wouldn't like t hear that Also,if you had found a better alternative you would have left your wife,so how is it that you are complaining of her wanting to divorce you.Isn't that hypocrisy. My dear,sit that down and take time to think of this,marriage is team work.Sit down with your wife and both of you should lay it all down on the table and work it out. People mix up the words but it isn't marry the person you love,no...it's love the person you marry.Take time to get to know and understand her and she should do the same.If you have any more questions concerning this,you can contact me at my blog www.fourwhitewalls.dinstudio.com Stay safe.

By d way,sorry about the typos,that was spa and lay it out.

Jenna he knows his time it up and his pimping days are over. He's only on here to get people going. There isn't no other girl who wants him most likely and he's obviously has been going threw a rough time with his wife and is having a tough time with woman. Thats why hes lashing out on some of the innocent reponses hes getting. He wants woman to think all men are like him. Not saying men don't get bored after so long or that they check out other females and wack off to porn, they do. But only minority act like him. The insecure ones whos wife dont want them no more.

wow!! u need to have a compassion for ur wife.. ur obviosly an old guy whos tryn to capture a little youth with out any feelns for ur wife.. i cud go on but i wn't. How wud u feel if u found out ur wife was going on the sites ? I think she needs to get out... bless her x

I think you are an absoulte w**ker and if I was your wife I'd do more than divorce you! What a selfish horrible person you are! Something like that would crush a woman completely and she 1000000% deserves better than you! She should get on the dating sites and F*** you off!!! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE AND OXOGEN!

How could I have guessed that I'd come across a lot of people just like my wife on this site? Well you haters out there should know that she has applied for divorce, and she is now trying to claim that just because I didn't contribute equally to paying for stuff like the mortgage, I'm not entitled to at least 50% of the payout. She has claimed that just because I chose to spend my money on other, less boring things (WTF??? How many lives do people get to live again???), my % should be reduced over the whole I could have been paying and didn't... get real!! How many people don't know that ALL marriages end up with each person getting 50/50. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Any (non-hater) lawyers out there want to write me a quick note so I can put an end to this new one?

Your right your wife does need a reality check.... for staying with you this long and forgiving you... how crewl could you be... how would you have felt if it had turned out she was going to die of cancer... oh wait thats right you dont care what happens to her.... As a married couple her problems are your problems and yours are hers. it all comes with it... sounds to me like you are the one who needs the wake up call

me and my fience have been together for 10 years and I have medical problems and he has been right there by my side through it all.. your reaction to her is what is unreasonable not hers... she is justified in wanting a divorce

I have never read anything so ridiculous in my life! These women sound like your wife? Maybe because they ate normal compassionate human beings? I hope that your wife manages to take far larger percentage of the house's worth as she has clearly supported you and paid the majority of the mortgage whilst you have been off 'having a life'. News for you buddy, life is about looking after the people you love- that should make you happy. I would surmise that the stress of supporting you contributes to making her ill. The fact that you clearly think that you are in the right and that everybody else is a hysterical idiot speaks for itself. Seriously, grow up and leve that poor woman to move on with her life.

A. If you're completely committed to your marriage why are you seeking the comfort of other women? B. If you had a cancer scare, is this how you would want her to react? C. When you're married, you problem solve TOGETHER.

okay first and foremost reading this i pity... that such men live. Not all women are leeches who spend their man's money. I know this from personal experience, I worked while my significant other stayed home during the day and was suppose to go elsewhere at night due to his probation officers request. We share 4 children together and I was the one who not only paid for their educations but food ... clothing.. shelter..etc for our family. I learned dec.24th that he had been cheating on me for months with a trailer trash woman.. why he says.. it just happened.. what does that mean.. then i found out he did all that internet crap you spoke about doing... sex talked women like i was nothing.. well guess what.. YOUR WIFE should take all your money for being with such a pig.. and i hope the divorce goes in her favour and you sad man live out your life.. never knowing compassion of a good woman and have to live ur sex life wanking off at the very women who dont want you and never will you piece of poo.

Marcknorret you said you were after some reaction to show to your wife. Did you read these reactions together? Just wondering what she had to say to them. Personally I understand the whole need for a mother figure, as a woman also looks for a father figure. Some times one person will be stronger for the other. It changes between the two people depending on what they are going through in life. The BIG problem happens when one of those people gets selfish and cant put their loved ones needs befor there own. A main staple if you are going to survive the relationship world. To help your loved one when they are sick or injured. To be faithful and senstive to their needs. Even if it means putting a trip on hold. I believe you already knew you would be moving on when you began to look at the dating scene and contact other woman. You might want to consider being single for a while, not sure marraige is for you. Thats not a bad thing its just not for every body.

I can see I am still being emailed responses to my problem. Well for those of you who were actually supportive of me, a quick update. She left me and within 3 weeks had another partner. I have driven past her work sometimes because I know he picks her up from there. It is sickening to see her stupidly grinning everytime he turns up. It is obvious he is just after her because of her looks and because she has money. I have tried to explain this to her but she is incredibly naive and stupid - this is amazing for someone who has a PhD. Anyhow I am still in the house and we are going to court over it, because I refused to leave. Anyone have advice on how I can get her to see the truth about this guy?