In law problems

Hello Many years ago my wife divulged lots of information about how her mother had negatively impacted her development throughout her life, how her mom had let her down etc. This along with issues that I have witnessed for myself really make me struggle to be civil to my mother in law. My wife acknowledges that by confiding in me, she has made it difficult for me to like my mother in law but she is now upset as she feels that this is making her distant from her family as I struggle to hide my feelings. I keep trying to bury everything and move on but I really am struggling and I want my wife to be happy and enjoy a good relationship with her family. What can I do to help me forgive and forget? Unfortunately, sitting down and talking about it is not an available option for fear of further divisions. My only choice is to move on but how? Many thanks in advance.

She struggles with her mom but they do have a relationship. It’s exentauated by the fact that my mom has supported my wife more through difficult times than her own mom ever has. However, she is her mom and she loves her but she’s not mine and I don’t which is what makes it hard to not just dislike her as a person but I want to make an effort for my wife so that she is happy and things are not awkward when I am around her mom. I carry a lot of baggage a snap it’s hard to know how to dump it.