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14 year olds can be so obstinate

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My 14 year old grandson and his mom live with my husband and I for over 12 years. From when he was little it has been my interventions that have gotten him "play dates" and ways to do activities with kids his age. His mom seems to think him being on his own, or just she and he doing things together, is sufficient. Through my (great deal of) effort I got he and his mom to go to his friend (Mike's) church that has an active youth group. (They had been going to a church who's average age had to be 70 and few if any kids.) We usually go every Sunday, and he usually goes to Youth Group on Wednesday night. Actually it was when I asked his friend (Todd) across the street to come to church with us that grandson finally agreed to come regularly. So problem is there is a once a year winter over night youth group activity in two weeks I'd like him to go to. He doesn't want to. Just vague..."I already went once (3 years ago at a different location)" is about all he says. And Todd isn't interested...Todd is a year younger and kind of immature. They both go to once a week 1 1/2 hour youth group with no problems! I guess.....assume....grandson still isn't comfortable with the other kids in youth group????? Often if Todd doesn't want to do these activities my grandson doesn't. I assume grandson's friend Mike, who has been going since age 7, is much more comfortable with these activities? I assume my grandson would rather sit home and do digital play for 4 hours (which usually turns into at least 5 hours) instead of spend time socializing with people his age. Grandson's mom is very non committal and just says if he doesn't want to go that's okay. My husband agrees with me that it would be good for grandson to go to the overnight activity but just says..."if his mom doesn't care we can't do anything". Obviously this is driving me crazy....honest to god my grandson would have no socialization if it weren't for me...he is in the next room playing digital games with Todd BECAUSE of my interventions a few years ago. So it's not like my interventions to provide opportunities for socializing activities have been awful for him! So do I give up, or how do I encourage him to go?

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