22 year marriage dead
please advise me i am at the end of my tether. After 3 children and a bad marriage i married again and then had a social life i hadn't had in 20 years. Though this husband was never really committed he had been alone for too long it took time for him to adapt. He has never been attentive or affectionate we have 1 daughter 22. He has never bought her things or taken her out. He can sit and stare at the wall in the way people stare at a t v. He used to have terrible temper tantrums and leave then we discovered he had diabetes and thought that explained it. We have always shared bills he pays some me others even though he worked and i didn't and what he gives me for groceries has only ever been enough for him. he was fired 2 yrs ago and cant get another job he has no qualifications cant even drive he isn't very knowledgeable at all.
Thats the background.
In the last 5 -6 yrs sex stopped altogether not a kiss on passing or a pat on the head. nothing. He gets into bed at night head hits the pillow and snores not even a goodnight. I am usually up there watching t v. we don't sit in the same room of an evening. if i say something is one colour he will agree if i say its not he will agree there's no conversation. if i ask an opinion there is none he says what do u want me to say. i can get dressed up but he never says i look nice. there's just a blank look.
We don't go out together if i do go out its with my friends. If we go on holiday it has to be with my friends so i have someone to talk to but they are fed up with him now he wont walk anywhere says he has bad knees but the Dr doesn't agree.
He weighs 26 stone and doesn't care he sits randomly making noises and talking to the dog who's taking no notice.. seriously have i hung on too long I've done that once and ended up on antidepressants turned out then he had someone else. That's not the case this time but i think my fear of failing is going too far. i even wonder if he has dementia like his father.
My daughter works with special needs and thinks that he has Asperger that was never diagnosed but whatever it is its getting worse and worse. what is really turning my stomach now is he doesn't wipe himself properly and he stinks. i was looking down his chair for the keys and the seat made me feel sick. i walked behind as he bent over and there's smears on his skin it makes me feel ill i even have to ask him to wash the tiles in the bathroom because i see brown fingermarks on them. i just want to cry
Get him in to a complete physical exam ASAP.
His behavior sounds like a neurological issue and since there’s a family history, get that checked out.