Am I crazy or is my boyfriend a selfish uncaring person?

Despite being with my bf for many years I've noticed a clear pattern to his behavior - in terms of being self centered. If something is in it for him, he goes for it and vice versa. He pouts if he doesn't get his way often as well and doesn't seem to have any empathy in certain situations particularly if he's not included. Example: I had planned a vacation for about several days with my kids and sister and her husband - it's an annual thing we do each year mostly. While i invited my bf we had a disagreement about 2 weeks before and then a close family member died - I was wiped out so I told him it was best if he didn't go - he said he took off the time from work so he was going even alone. Whatever. So we resolved for him to come the last 2 days. Before he joined me, he complained on the phone about wasting his time off and he was really bored (at one point he was yelling at me even though the funeral was the day before and I was really upset); that the hotel he was staying at the first night was really expensive and this "wasn't the vacation he planned". When he met me, I bought him dinner one night and the other night we went "dutch" even though he stayed for free the 2nd night with me. He never offered to pay for anything. BUT I paid for the rental home (and he was never expected to pay); there was a hotel very close by that was much more reasonable but he chose not to stay there; he could have worked the few extra days but chose not to, etc. Then he had no sympathy for the death in our family. I am good to him and can't understand why he is acting like such an ass - he just can't cope when he isn't included and under the circumstances that's really selfish. I should have been able to lean on him and he should have been a shoulder for me during the difficult death that just happened BUT HE WASN'T! do I just leave him b/c I feel like I don't love him anymore - but we are invited to his best friend's daughter wedding in 2 weeks. Advice please!

So let me get this straight, you planned a vacation and you reluctantly invite him even though your sisters husband is going. A family member passes away and two weeks before you leave you uninvite him. Why? Your sisters husband was still going, what was the problem with your bf still going? Granted he could've been a bit more polite about things but that was a shitty thing to do to him. He felt left out and rightly so.