What's the right thing to do when dealing with an ex?

here it goes....broke up with a long term relationship partner only 8 weeks ago. We had an intense relationship. I left him a few times over the years but always came back after a short time period based on his promise to "change" (i.e., not misleading me) and while that worked for a while, eventually he went back to his old ways. Despite this, I never wanted to give up b/c I loved him (don't believe I do anymore though). He has attempted to reach me via text, etc. (no calls thankfully) and I didn't reply until the other day - told him I'm out of town but would get in touch. Well that a week ago and I haven't. He wants to just catch up and claims it isn't to get back together. However, he wants to do so in my home, which if I met him at all, wouldn't happen (for obvious reasons). I feel bad if I tell him I won't see him now especially b/c his sister in law is an old friend of mine. What do I do?

If you can't accept all of him as he is, then it's never going to work and you're wasting your time waiting for him to change. His sister in law, as an old friend of yours, shouldn't take sides if she's a true friend. It's easy to say and very hard to do, particularly with long term relationships, but if you don't love him anymore, then tell him and move on.

don't waste your time going back, it will re-hash the past and bring up memories or feelings even if you just saw him to talk. If you think you can be just friends with him and repress the past and emotions and memories, as civil adults then there is no harm