First love

I’m either delusional or I think... he likes me. He’s an amazing guy... nice, smart, cute. Amazing personality. Funny. Easy to be around. I could see us be together. His friend always flirts with me when he’s around and laughs. Is it his way of teasing him? I find him always staring at me. Especially when other guys are around me. And it’s the same when girls are near him. I get angry. My heart beats crazy around him. I’ve sacrificed so much just to WORK with him. He’s too nice to girls which gives me mixed emotions. But he’s still wearing the thing I gave him when we first met. For the last few nights... I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s morning right now and i haven’t slept think about him. He’s my first love and I REALLY think I like him... but if... if I confess and he doesn’t like me back... What’s worse is I’d have to deceive my family if we date. And he’s deceive his. Both our families are big and strict. Our cultures and religions are important to both out families and so different from eachother. I’ve... imagined our wedding in the future... our famalies 100% contradict each other’s. if I’m being honest... I don’t care. I like him that much already and it’s most likely unrequited. I’m scared to risk our amazing friendship just cause my hormones are restless. I think... he likes someone else. Someone I don’t know. (N) one of both our mutual friends had told me he told her he liked someone. She’s smart and wouldn’t mention it to me unless it was someone else. I feel embarrassed and heartbroken if im being honest. I really don’t want to deceive my family. So if he does like me... we will have a long talk. If he doesn’t... mmh unrequited first love. Will definitely be one to be remember. I hate this so much. I’m scared. But I don’t want to be a coward. Is this what it feels like for second males in love triangles. Uggghhhh. Am I crazy? Does he like me? What should I do? Help me PLEASE!

I was going to stop giving advice here for a while, but you know... I like trying to do this, and I would like to keep attempting to help people. So how come you haven't talked about this with him? What you are essentially doing is having a conflict with yourself. This will go on for a long time if you let it. One thing you mentioned is that his friend flirted with you. I find it funny that you didn't raise the possibility of his friend being interested in you. What if that is the case? Maybe his friend is the one who is interested in you? If you confess and he doesn't like you back, that isn't the end of the world. Most of us are alone. You either keep living in a dream world with this person, or take a shot and either start dating them or accept reality and move on with your life. At the end of the day, you can date whoever you want. Every relationship takes work, and ones where both parties follow different religions are no different. You have to respect each others' differences, the same happens in relationships between agnostic people and atheists.

Your reply really helped me. His friend is naturally a flirty guy with lots of people and we are only friends but in front of my crush he will go out of his way to flirt. Never flirts with me other wise then glances back and forth to him as if provoking a reaction. I think your right about having a conflict with myself. I’m really hurting myself getting no sleep, my heart hurts, I do things for him when it might in the end be in my imagination. I have the courage now to speak up. I’m going to ask him... If it does turn out to be unrequited then that’s that. Cultural wise. Your right. That wasn’t really a barrier for me. I know I’m risking a strong friendship by doing this... but I don’t want to remain in this state... confused. Clouded. A mess. Thank you so much for talking some sense into me. And taking that extra step to reply although you promised not to... your words spoke volumes. I’m really scared. But I’m also feeling a bit more stronger. Thank you

I want to give support to you asking him. If he is acting like that do you think you will get the truth? I suggest you throw him a challenge by not being available for a while. Might reveal something might not. Whatever happens your suffering might be saying something is not right. It will take some time for you to know if he is the one you really want, even if he is very attractive now. That can disappear very quickly if he is the wrong one. Keep your heart hidden for a while.