What should I say to my friends?
JUSTSOMEONE21 - Feb 10 2020 at 07:23
I just graduated from high school and I still want to maintain my friendship with my school friends. I have been catching up with them but they don't invite me to their parties. They take drugs at their parties and they know I don't do drugs. I'm actually fine with others taking drugs because I don't have to take them myself. I texted them asking why they don't invite me to their parties. They never told me the full reason but they mentioned that they think I would be uncomfortable with them taking drugs at parties. They thought I would bring up this topic again and I said I wouldn't. The next day I wanted to tell them that I am comfortable with partying and i sent them a text message (not intending to bring up the topic of party exclusion, just an FYI stating that I'm comfortable partying with them) I said I'm equally as comfortable as them with partying and the only thing that would make me feel uncomfortable is many people were being raped. I didn't think too carefully in advance because rape is a serious issue which I shouldn't have mentioned. The conversation went down badly with them saying things like "we aren't friends anymore" "we can't move past this" etc. They asked me to give them a break for weeks which I did. I made a new group chat with friends (from the same group) but only the ones who don't easily get angry. Three weeks later I text the whole group and they leave me on read. I'm worried that they don't want to reconnect with me but I still want to be friends with them. What should I say to my friends so I can get my friendship back together again? Or should I only be friends with the ones who don't easily get angry? I understand that some people lose contact with their friends after finishing school but I still want to be friends with them.
You need to be honest with yourself do you really want to hang out with these people as a group and what do you have in common. It sounds like you would be better off with a different group of people. You are obviously a strong person to say NO to drugs while you were in this group and you know right from wrong. You shouldn't be worried about them being easily offended, you don't need to be around people who are so negative to you, you deserve better friends. Look if they take certain types of drugs it affects their personality and anger issues. Do you still live in the same area or have you moved away to college/uni or have you started a job. The thing is it sounds like you are going to be growing away from this group of people if drugs and parties are their only interest. It sounds like you are ready to take a new step in life and you are feeling lonely and abandoned by this group. It is time for you to find a new group of friends who suit the person you are and I believe that you have the strength inside you to do that. You may find in time you will stay friends with some of the previous group. But you don't need them.
Go out into the world and find some new friends who suit the person you are. You will be much happier with real friends and not these losers you are better than them. And they are other people out there who are worthy of being your friend.