Relationship troubles

Hi Iam new to this forum but just looking for a little advice. I have been in a long term relationship for 10 years and married for 2. we have two kids. My husband can be difficult at times. He can be controlling however I have always stood up to him on that point and still go out with friends and family ect despite him possibly being in a huff or upset about it. He can also be loving but can change quickly. My main issue at the moment is when I am asleep I have been awoken by him having sex with me or him doing foreplay on me.When I wake he is already doing it so I feel confused am I still dreaming then I push him away and he pretend like he nothing was happening. I become embarrassed the next day when I remember bits of it and feel to embarrassed to talk about it but it just makes me feel insecure and dirty about it. I have read online that some men enjoy this but unsure if it’s right as we are in a relationship? Advice please no judgement. I also caught his camera filming me in the shower the other day and I confronted him, to which he replied I only want some nice pics.

I feel I have no one to speak to as How can I tell peoplle I know. I am also embarrassed! I can’t explain why I stay in the relationship but find it hard to leave. I have previously left him but he made my life very difficult and he did change his ways so I took him back. I also change my mind maybe it’s normal ect Thanks for listening as I’m unsure who else to talk too

There's only one person who can give you answers and that's your husband. Going by your post, he pretty much controls your marriage together and it's your choice as to how you go about getting him to explain his actions. If he doesn't have your permission to do what he does, then he's abusing your trust and basically disrespecting you. You need to understand that you have given him once chance before and took him back, after he changed his ways, but again, it's your choice to determine whether your marriage with him lives up to your values and standards. When it's all said and done, if the man was right for you, he wouldn't need to change. Most importantly, you guys have children and they need a happy and stable environment.