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I’m in love with her – do I stand a chance?

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Hi All, I started my Master in business school 3 month and a half ago and in my study group of 6 people there is this girl, whom I have fallen in love with; I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t know neither how it happened! Probably the fact that we have spent a lot of time together working very late (sometimes 3 am) on projects at the library. She just happened to be in my mind every minute; it’s incredible! Can’t stop thinking about her. This started occurring 2 months and a half ago. I explained this to some friends of mine and two said to me that I should make a move otherwise she may friendzone me. I have used some tests to see if it could worth it making a move, such as pulling some jokes and touching her to see how she reacts, etc. She was responding somehow in the same manner; a lot of the time her legs below the table were always coming to touch mine; she was making joke about it. One evening I had a cold and had to leave and go home; she didn’t want me to leave. She said to me that she would miss me as she was already used to me and spend time with me (we were working Monday to Sunday 9 am till 1 am on average, sometimes 3 am. Anyway, I was thinking seriously about making a move and was waiting for the best opportunity to do so but we had been very busy with assignments from class. Eventually we had 4 days breaks and she went on holidays, came back sick. She was explaining me all the time how it hurts her to be sick, etc. I responded saying I am sorry and that I am there for her if she needs support or help. She responded saying I am very very nice guy. This scared me (you know the old sentence “you are nice, but …”). Therefore I didn’t want her to purely think of me as the nice guy; I responded back saying that it’s cool but it’s more like I care a lot about her and wished to speak to her in face to face after her return from holidays but opportunities were very few. She responded saying “it takes a lot of courage to say that; I am very touched, thank you. What about discussing in face to face when my disease finishes?”. I said perfect! 4 weeks later, she fully recovered from her disease; last weekend I proposed to do a dinner; I saw this as an opportunity to meet her and talk about any kind of stuffs; more like to kill time and get to know her even better on the personal level. She said “Yes” and we agreed to do this in a week time. After a week, as I was trying to schedule which day we would meet, she responded saying that she had been thinking a lot about what I said to her in the past “that I care a lot about her and that I like her”, and that she would prefer to keep our relationship professional because we are in the same school work group, etc. I said we don’t have to show anything to people and asked her to clarify whether this was because she feared school image or because she didn’t like me. I also said that I have developed feelings for her. She responded saying that she appreciates that, but she didn’t develop any feeling for me, that she is seeing me as a friend, and that we are not on the same page. I responded back saying that I respect her decision and that because I admire her personality, I would still be glad to be her friend. I am 31, she is 30 and we are both single. Next day after that as we were doing some group work, she pulled my name instead of someone else name inadvertently; one guy proposed a solution to the exercise and she was meant to say she agrees with “this guy’s name” but unconsciously she said she agrees with “my name”. I don’t really know what this means. I am in love with this girl; I cannot stop thinking about her, and I would be willing to make some reasonable sacrifices in terms of time, such as being patient, etc. but I don’t know if at all things can work in my favour? Other thing is that she has been quite blunt and dry in her response; I would have thought she would maybe say “no” in a less direct manner. Additional information – I also know that for the first period of the scholar year she didn’t have good grades and I know that she is disappointed about that; she is putting a lot of effort to improve. I also know that she gets very stressed about exams; she told me this several times. Our next exams are coming in 2 weeks. May she has reacted under stress in her response to me? Because our next exams are coming soon (2 weeks) and I know she is currently working so hard. Maybe she hasn’t assessed my situation properly? I am a bit confused why in the first place she was “flirting” with me, giving compliments about my dress style, giving a lot of hugs, etc. Also, she has always been very nice with me, but this is the first time I ever see her being blunt and cutting things short with me. The exam stress thing is a serious thing and I think the fear of exams is what caused her bad grades in the past exams. Now she is fearing again, in a worse manner. Last time as she was stressed about exams, she went remote for a day or two, and as usual I did everything to re-ensure and encourage her. How should I behave now and what is next to do? She is a great girl – I have nearly zero doubt about it; I see it by her personality; I would say she is the kind of girl who loves well when she decides to love someone. For this reason, I want to try everything in my remit before giving up … oh I don’t event want to mention “giving up” as we never know what life has for us in the future, right? Thanks a lot, in advance for your advices. ?

I’m in love with her – do I stand a chance?

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Why not simply invite her out for a coffee , once lockdown is ended it's a good way to find out if she's interested. Tell her you like her and ask how she feels

I’m in love with her – do I stand a chance?

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I'll admit it is tough being in a tight spot like you are now. Especially when the other person says they don't share the same feelings back. If you wish to still be friends-and this is only if she really means it when she says she's not interested...than I'd recommend not destroying the friendship. If you still think you have a shot at winning her heart, your're going to need patience buddy! lol. Spend time together as just friends for a while, and wait for things to settle down. If you ask again sooner rather than later than she'll likely not want to even talk to you again. But to be perfectly honest, you're chances might not be as high if you don't know her well. You'll only succeed at getting to know her better if you do stuff together as friends. And I wouldn't recommend sitting by her all the time, asking how she's doing constantly, or anything that might give away the hint of romantic feelings. Be platonic, but be yourself. Don't try to please her to win her over because trust me... it got me in troube with a girl for doing that and it won't work, I'm telling you! Don't lose faith, just be prepared for the fact that she might not like you in the way you hope. I got faith in you though, you'll get through this!

I’m in love with her – do I stand a chance?

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I'll recomend you just take things slow, don't push it to hard and it'll work out in your favour, you already tried asking her out and by what you said she knows you have feelings for her, it might be the exams or maybe shes not just where you are right now in terms of feelings, with time she should come around or it might not work out, you cant force her right?

I’m in love with her – do I stand a chance?

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I'll recomend you just take things slow, don't push it to hard and it'll work out in your favour, you already tried asking her out and by what you said she knows you have feelings for her, it might be the exams or maybe shes not just where you are right now in terms of feelings, with time she should come around or it might not work out, you cant force her right?

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