I have some "unnatural" desires towards my own mother

About my "Unnatural desires", since i was a kid, i've always fantasized about...making love to my mom. There, i said it. It's really weird for me to talk about, i've never told a soul. Since i was a kid, i've loved being hugged by my mom, she's always just felt so warm. She's the most important person in my life, my rock. I accidentally saw my first pornographic film by 6 and didn't really know what was happening, but i couldn't stop thinking about that movie. I even imagined trying some of those things in it with her. I always tried "stealing" her from her boyfriend's or buying her Valentine's Gifts. My teenage years were no help, i often pleasured myself to thoughts of her. I've always felt this way and i don't know what to do with myself for it. I fantasize about her all the time. She's all i have. I don't even know what i want though. LIke, i know i Want her, the real thing, but that's not feasible. Or is it? How i could get over this either. Please help me, i don't know what to do. I'm 22 now, so i guess "Grow out of it" isn't feasible.