Emotional turmoil

I suppose it is rather odd to be posting my problems for all the world to see but i have reached a point where I am completely lost and unsure of where to go with my life. In the hopes of finding someone who will guide me or at the very least give me advice on what i should do, i tell the world what is wrong with me. I have many many regrets in my life. My first and foremost regret is being academically dismissed from one of the best public universities in the country. I am now considered a failure and a large embarrassment by my own family members. Most people would say do things for yourself. Who cares about the opinion of your family? But for my situation, I can't help but to care for what my family thinks of me. I am the kind of individual who spent their entire lifeliving to make other people happy. If my family was happy, I was happy. Now with the situation i'm currently in, i can no longer make them happy with anything i do. How does a person like me learn to be happy for themself? But my emotional turmoil does not stop there. I come from a family who's members have degrees. But now that I am struggling to get my own, they are.concerned and are furious with me because i push them away. My problem is that i am unfamiliar with their.concern. When i was growing up, my siblings were hardly home or locked in their own room. Anything. i did, was done on my own. That was only to be expected of me. If.my.older siblings were successful, why couldn't i be? The members of my family vary from one who would lock himself in his room for hours on end and would throw temper tantrums when asked to do menial task to a member who was temporarily disowned from the family for defying my parents. Now that we are older, they are now more.concerned and want to know my thoughts. But i do not have the inclination to be open with them. If they didn't care before, why would they now? I would greatly appreciate any advice on my problems because I am on the verge of a ments.breakdown that I fear will cause me to loose everything i told dear. Thank you for your time.

I know a little bit of where you are coming from. To live up to a families expectations is a great pressure placed on you. The thing about that is you start living for others and not yourself. Listen I was the one in my family who always got the good grades and got all these awards, but the truth was while I was pleasing my family I hid what the real me felt until I broke. Trust me when I say you don't want to get to that point its hard to come back from. I learned that while I was trying to please others and give them what they wanted I was leaving myself out. So ask yourself what do you truly want not for your family but for yourself. Who do you want to be aside from who your family wants you to be. When you answer those questions you'll find that you've taken the first steps to start living for you and only you.