Feeling all alone

Im a quiet type of person. Now im trying to get out of that zone but it's not an easy thing to do. I don't have lots of friends. I feel like Im not easy to have friends because im not talkative. Im feeling all alone and im getting depressed. We have a group chat with my co-choir members, i celebrated my birthday but none of them greeted me on our group chat. Im just thinking maybe they weren't notified on facebook or they got notified but they were too busy. It's ok for me that time, but when another of our choir member celebrated her birthday, they greet her and that's when i feel envious. I don't ignore them. I am nice to them. And here i am feeling worthless. Sometimes im feeling like my existence isn't worthy at all.

No harm in trying to get out there more, and make some friends. Also, don't read too much into peoples behavior.

Hi BarLily! I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this issue. Believe me when I say that I too have struggled with this issue from childhood. I was so shy it crippled me, especially in groups in school, and in teen years. I literally was afraid to talk. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of being made fun of. I was even shy with my own family. The root of this problem stems from rejection and abandonment issues, as well as anxiety, in your life somewhere. Reflect over your lifetime and try to figure out when this started for you--who rejected you; what were the circumstances; etc. There may be unforgiveness being held against someone, even anger or bitterness. Forgiving people is the first step, and then trying to achieve peace inside yourself. There are some self help steps you can practice, to begin to build your self confidence and self esteem. There are also online support groups, lots on facebook. Here is a link that I hope will be helpful to you. https://www.succeedsocially.com/positiveexercises

I think we all feel a bit lonely at times. I do for sure. But we have to accept it. We only have ourselfs at the end of the day. And remember other people are just distractions honestly. Just focus on yourself, spend time with the family is you feel like thats a good option. These ”friends” arent going to be there forever anyways. For me being alone is only hard when i want someone to talk to. But i figured therapy helps and talking to anonymous people online. Maybe thats something worth trying? And im sorry you had to celebrate your birthday alone, thats truly heartbreaking since you deserve to be happy on your birthday. But i hope you treat urself as the amazing person you are and dont forget your self worth <3 and also the key to liking urself is to stop making others trying to like you.

BARLILY, I can certainly relate to being a quiet person. Meeting new people in life or having to interact in a large crowd is something that I certainly dread so don't feel like you are alone there. One thing that has helped me is to recognize that there are others out there with the same quiet personality. When I have an opportunity to interact with these people I make sure to take advantage of the opportunity because I know that they are in the same boat. I have a good idea of what they're thinking because most likely it is what I am thinking. I'll give you an example. Just last year right after Winter break I was doing school work in an empty in one one the buildings nobody ever really goes to on campus. As I'm doing my work this kid comes in and starts asking me all sorts of questions. Right away I was annoyed, but I quickly realized that this kid was a shy freshman with a reserved personality much like yourself (despite all the questions) and could probably use a friend. Before I left I gave him my number, and I told him that I often do my school work in this room, and that if he ever wanted to hangout, do his work, eat lunch, etc. that he could he could let me know and we could meet up in the room. As the weeks went on we did just that. We did our work, ate lunch and dinner together, and just hungout. After that, he seemed to branch out a little more. He told me he had a couple more friends, he started going to the gym, and pursuing other interests like starting a business. All it took was this one interaction for him to start to enjoy his time at school a little more. I tell you this story because it shows that even the quiet ones like you are capable of finding new friends even if it takes a couple not so good interactions to get there. As for the birthday thing, do not feel bad that nobody on your choir squad recognized it. It's possible they forgot, but even if they didn't that's just on them. You deserve to have friends who will write your birthday in their calendar. Good luck and Happy Belated Birthday!