My bff and crush is moving

i’m a 16yo girl, my best friend of 4 years told me on friday that she's going to be moving away in two months (florida to colorado). it didn't really hit me that hard until now. i've always crushed on her on and off but never really thought of us getting together officially because her parents are super homophobic and have even taken her older sister to conversion therapy when she came out. we're pretty intimate and cuddly too, much more than normal friends, so it's hard to hide that from her parents and we have to be sneaky. last year, admitted to me that she likes girls and has a crush on me. at the time i was in a really confusing place with my identity and sexuality, so i turned her down. recently, i'm almost infatuated with her and everything she does. i'm scared these feelings aren't genuine romantic feelings, because i have a really hard time distinguishing between platonic and romantic attraction sometimes. it's just the worst that i'm having these feelings now that she's going to be 2,000 miles away in 60 days, and it really makes me so anxious and depressed. we won’t even have the summer together. i’m scared i’ll feel so lost and alone when she leaves, and it doesn’t help that i have a history of self-harming or suicidal mental breakdowns. (bonus note: every other best friend i’ve had before this has also moved away and since that was in elementary we just lost touch immediately every time.)

[at the time i was in a really confusing place with my identity and sexuality] Until this problem is sorted [with your identity and sexuality] you will carry this into every relationship that you have. [I'm scared these feelings aren't genuine romantic feelings, because i have a really hard time distinguishing between platonic and romantic attraction sometimes.] So,this girl is not for you.:(