Heartbroken Cinderella

I just discovered my husband has an onlyfans account. Yesterday he showed me a collectible figure he liked, so I scrolled through his history this morning to find it for Father's Day. I never DREAMED this would happen to us. He doesn't seem the type at all, and I never felt I couldn't trust him. He's not only subscribed, he has paid upword of $120 (at least) to these girls for specific material, AND he has sent photos of his privates asking for a rating/feedback. I love sex. I thought I was more sexual than him. We have a 1-year-old, but that hasn't taken away my interest. He's turned me down more actually, saying he's tired or something along those lines. We do have sex, but not as often as pre-baby, but keep in mind, that isn't really my fault. Baby sleeps through the night now. I'm breastfeeding, and I've been interested I lactation fetishes. However, he isn't into it-- but, and here's the kicker, he's subscribed to a lactating girl and is part of a "secret milk group." I've felt ashamed of my own turn ons and have regretted some mid-sex sexy talk because he seemed so repressed. I couldn't tell is he was into it-- or any fetishes. He claimed to have none... I just don't know what to think. I thought I had this storybook life... I'm so hurt and I feel betrayed, unattractive, and my trust is shot. I want to be diplomatic, but I've always tried to make him feel sexy and loved. I just don't understand. I don't care about the porn, it's him spending money, conversing, and sending pictures of his penis that urks me. What the hell do I do?

I would talk to him about it. It's the only way to solve this conflict. You went through the history with a different intention but found something else. I think he would understand. Men are very careless with these types of things so I would just talk to him about it. Good luck!

You are going to have to call him out, on this behavior. I would also suggest putting a parental lock on the computer to prevent him from searching out this stuff more. You may also want to seek couples counseling.