Partner back on drugs even though I'm pregnant

Hi my partner and I have been together for 2 years and been friends before that and he was never smoking weed he was always very kind and considerate . But for some stupid reason he decided to start smoking weed . He tried cocaine as well which was a real worry I told him that I couldn't take it anymore , he said he would change . Instead all I got was him lieing and going behind my back to get it . So one day I flipped and said that if he dosnt stop I'm gone . We are both 28 and I really want to settle down and have children . He agreed to stop which he did for about 4 months . I found out that I'm pregnant and I'm now 9 weeks . He said he wants to be a good dad but he's started up smoking weed again . I really don't want our child around drugs . I love my partner very much but I just don't know what to do anymore . Please someone give me advice

Hello there, not really sure how to help or what to say...but first of all you need to make him realise just how serious this is. Sure you've had a good go already! How did he react when you said you'd go?? Make sure he knows your serious...you both have a child to look forward to...and it will hit him sooner or later. Unfortunately when one is addicted, or enjoys doing certain things...giving up is never easy. Try seek professional help if you can. But it does need to stop. Hope you both work it out. Regards...Charmaine

Hi thanks for reply . When I said I was going I really ment it and he knew that if he didn't change that would be it . He was very scared and couldnt do enough for me and said if it wasn't for me standing by him he would never of come off it . But since I've become pregnant he just stopped and thinks "oh well she's not going to leave so I can start doing drugs again" but last night I said its worse now cause I am having a baby and I want our child to have a normal loving upbringing . Have a life that I never had . So it just makes me stronger . Clair

Hey, As long as he stays with weed and does no other drugs, then it should be fine. Weed isn't detrimental to one's health. Sure, it may be cancerous, but it'd be decades before it develops in the lifespan of any human being. I think he is just experimenting with drug to get a kick out of them, but I really do hope he doesn't do anything more than just smoking weed in the future. Weed is the only other drug that isn't detrimental to one's health -- hell, even alcohol is worse than weed! There's only a negative view on weed because it has been outlawed way back when for business reasons and has been mistakenly in a negative light ever since. Anyway.. if you're going to stay with this guy and he's going to continue smoking weed, ask him to cut down on it to 2-3 times a week, and away from the presence of your child once she's born (if you decide to keep it). Also, there are drugs everywhere. Drugs are a part of life in various ways. Caffeine is a drug. Those medicines you take are drugs. They will always be around, our natural earth creates it and all we do is refine them into uses for our world, and it's not always a bad thing. It's just the bad drugs you are thinking about, LSD, ecstasy, cocaine, meth, etc. Point is, your child will be around drugs nonetheless. S/he will one day learn about them and perhaps even try it sometime. All you can do now is research more about it and discuss about them to your partner and you can then form your own opinions on them based on actual facts and share about it to your child. As for now, just have him cut down and not smoke in the presence of your child until s/he grows up and can understand the concept of drugs in the proper manner.

Well in a sense...relating to the entry above...weed isn't all THAT bad is it?? Cut down for a start would be great. Depends on how much he 'depends' on it. Glad you were able to tell him straight. Things cold be worse right?? Once your little bundle of joy is born...Im sure it will change the perspective on everything. It will be wonderful. I wish you all the very best of luck. Charmaine