Need relationship advice. dealing with a controlling mean woman

I have a girlfriend that I have been fooling around with on and off since the age of 15. We finally reconnected 8 years ago and she moved in after a few months. We fall out alot cause I don't trust her and she does funny things. After 7 years we fell out and she moved with her mother. She had already gotten mean and want no sex. Yelling at me , sleeping at the other end of the bed, getting agrivated when I touch her while we sleep. She kept staying over every weekend but goes back to her mother's every week for work to take a work van. She won't let me take her to work.eveytime I ask the simplest of questions she snaps telling me to stop asking her questions, but gets jealous and ask me a few questions a month. Now my sister died she came to move back in, took off work 2 weeks of work for my sister death. I buy her things but she never left until she got her job 8 months ago out of 8 years. She's ran alot in the past but not like this. She's always right, and watch all her shows on tv. She does things for me but now her daughter missing and I can't use her phone and blocked from her Facebook. But when she's here she's with me all of the time.shes my age 41....what's going on.

You are 41. You have been on and off with her for - 25 freaking years? Why? If you can't establish and maintain a relationship with someone - anyone - else in 25 years, and neither can she, I guess that's the best either of you can do. You don't *have* to stay with her, so don't.

For such a period, you could not find mutual understanding. Maybe it was high time to end this relationship?

Do yourself a favor and end it. It sounds like she’s not ready. Don’t waste time with her that you could be spending with someone better for you

Yeah she's clearly unhappy and just hanging on, perhaps from love or comfort. U see like a nice person probably too nice and perhaps alil insecure; aren't we all in various ways...to get past some hurdles some ppl thk its important to address internal issues so they can feel safe. Others feel safe living in the moment and wanting their business to be their business. I think relationships need both. If you love her and aren't ready to move on, it maybe time to have a dialogue to understand what you both are to each other. Roommates can b in love too u know. And if that is all it is, maybe its time to see if if that's correct and perhaps treat it as such until u work on the mental tools to move on. There's immense distance here. That happens with long term relationships. U can't b her everythg if she hasn't experienced a life without you. She seems like she likes the warmth of you but can't give you the traditional love u crave. U have to change; either morph into somethg she can appreciate with less emotional outburst involved or u have to prepare yourself for a untangling that ur scared to face...