Love triangle

This is sort of long: I broke off a 7 year relationship with a J who was possessive, obsessive and just downright crazy, but J was financially stable. J wanted to do everything for me and wanted me all to himself. I eventually had to file a restraining order against J. Two months later I met G. G was everything J wasn't; charming, handsome, outgoing, great in bed. We fell in love and before we knew it a year had passed and we were inseparable. During that year I was laid off from my well paying job but had plenty of savings to fall back on and expected to find another job soon,so I wasn't too worried about finances. I still haven't found an adequate job to cover my living expenses Then J was unexpectedly called away for military duty for a year. I was devastated. But we vowed to stay together and talk everyday. We talked several times a day and things were going well until I had several large monetary emergencies. Within months of J leaving, my nest egg was almost gone. I was never one to ask for help but I begrudgingly asked G for help. He admitted to hiding a blank check at my house just in case I needed it. That really helped but as time went on G claimed that he wanted to help me but did not know how to get more money to me. Meanwhile, J found out about my financial troubles and secretly started paying my bills. When I confronted him about it he confessed and said that he hated to see me struggle. We started hanging out and he admitted that he still had feelings for me. I told him that I was in love with someone else. He said that he understood but would still help me out. I was falling for the oldest trick in the book: damsel in distress being helped by the dastardly dude. She eventually ignores his dastardness and lets down her guard, falling into the pit of stolkholm syndrome. That is being a bit dramatic but you get my point. Meanwhile, my relationship with G is starting to deteriorate. I am seeing all of his faults because he does not treat me like J does. J does things without asking, he calls just to say hello, he cooks and cleans and is basically a slave for my needs. (Not emotionally healthy at all). G and I argue on Skype constantly. I finally tell him that I am seeing my ex and break up with him. Which brings us back to J...... I really do not like him. J is very needy. He can not make a move without me and constantly asks me what he should do. He wants to be around me 24/7 and gets upset when I want alone time. He annoys me to no end. The way he talks, the way he walks, the way he looks, smells, and THE WAY HE BREATHS! In short, I do not love him. He says that he loves me. I tell him that I appreciate him. He will do anything for me. J surprised me with blue prints for a a new house for us......and an engagement ring. I told him that I had to think about it. In the meantime G is messaging me telling me that he does not care if I am seeing someone else. He says that when he comes home I will be his no matter what. I feel that I love G. We have lots of fun together. We are interested in the same things and come from similar backgrounds. G does not treat me like the only woman on earth like J does. But that is a little unnerving. But I have feelings for G that I do not have for J. Unfortunately I do not completely trust G. So the question is...... Should I sacrifice love and go for security with J? Should I sacrifice being treated like a queen and be with G? Or should I just be alone? FYI, I am not a young gold digger. I am a mature woman who has mad some bad relationship/life decisions and is having a problem digging her way out.