No support

Recently I was really depressed due to a few different things. My mum passed away 3 months ago and even thou I never saw her for years it still hit me. I dont trust my husband and have issues in our marriage due to it and we recently returned from a holiday and the depression hit me so hard when I got home because all our holidays were over and there is nothing else to look forward to and because of my mum passing away. I was so bad and depressed that I rang my husband up left a voice message and told him to tell the kids I loved them. He didn’t return my call. I felt so hurt and alone and thought this man says he loves me but how can he when he never returned my call. He sent a text to say we can talk when he gets home, he done the sand thing 7 years ago and didn’t return my calls when I was really down and again I felt so lost and alone. I had no one to talk to no family or friends and the one person who was supposed to be there for me wasn’t, back then, even now. We had been arguing on the phone before I left him the voice message and I had sent him a text to say don’t come back. He said he thought I must of been ok to of sent that and said he only listened to my voice message 10 minutes after receiving the text message. We have been together 39 years married 24 I’m 50 he’s 54. I feel alone