3 years and I'm not over it
I had a longtime friend that I trusted with my deepest secret that I was sexually abused when I was younger. A couple of years ago, I was working a full time job and he become someone I hung out with a lot and I grew to rely on him more. So much so, that I began to consider a future together. I loved him, he was a friend first.
He was a goofy guy, but one that didn't respect women and who only valued his opinion or the opinions of people who didn't go against him. He's a very proud guy who likes to boast about his achievements. But he was also manipulative in that he purposefully acted shitty so that he would look better later when he would show that "he's really not that kind of guy" and he's willing to say anything to make himself look better, even disclose my sexual abuse to his then girlfriend.
I'm a private person and I don't like my life aired out like that, especially to people that I know. I still trusted him though and wanted to keep the friendship because it had been such a long time and we had so much history but I always held in the back of my mind that he would do something like that again.
Fast forward to the four years I was working full time and I made a new friend at work and decided to hang out with both of them. There was instant chemistry and attraction and they began to hang out without me. We had a falling out and he decided to regale his side of the story to everyone who would listen while I stayed silent. I felt like a joke to both of them and that the friendship I had with them was worth nothing.
Recently, I've been getting updates about his life since we're part of the same longtime friend group and he's doing fine. He's dating, having a good time, still hanging out with the friend I made at work. And I feel shitty about it. I want to be able to move on with my life but it's hard when I keep hearing about him and how well his life is going. I have so much hurt and anger but I'm finding it so hard to let it go
There’s some kind of fantasy going on in your head about this person.
Re-read your own post - he sounds self- centered, seductive ( then abandons others) and manipulative. These kinds of people suck in others along the way and it sounds like you are one of his “ victims”
On social media, he “sounds happy and is dating.” Do you really believe it?
And - so what?
Life is short. Find yourself. Seek counseling if necessary.
Sounds like a serial-liar to me. Don't trust what you hear about him, it is likely lies to make himself feel better. Also, ignore him and move on. Seems like a crappt friend to have had in the first place.