What should I do about a troublesome close friend?

There is this guy that I am very close friends with. We actually used to date for a very short time back in high school, but after breaking up he abstained from dating again due to his conservative and religious beliefs, which is totally cool. The problem I am having with him now is that it has gotten to the point where he often rants about feminism and openly supports gender roles. He would even impose his stupid anti-dating beliefs on me once in a while. Worst of all, he would make it clear that women, specifically, would not be liked for having multiple partners, should not have a career after having kids, and are better off being married at a younger age. I am honestly trying to absorb some of his knowledge and ignore all the bullshit. But this shit is really pissing me off. I know this is really silly. Am I being too sensitive or something? He does think he's helping me and is genuinely concerned about me due to my past, so ending the friendship is the last thing I want to do. I am just going so crazy.

The guy's your friend with some strong views on what should be & what shouldn't be & it's basically his business, but he hasn't the right to impose his views on anybody & that includes his closest friends. All you need to do is ask yourself what you're getting out of the friendship & what is it that you actually share, which allows you guys to be close friends. Always remember, a true friend tells what you what you need to hear, & so if this guy gives you the shits, then give him an earful to remind him where the boundaries of your shared friendship are at. One things for sure, you're pretty lucky to have close friend even if they do drive you crazy.

That is a really good question: what is keeping us close friends? The only answer I can think of is that we are there for eachother when things get hard. Our usual conversation obviously doesn't make me happy at all. I should feel lucky, but his slut-shaming (even though I'm still a virgin) and sexist beliefs wear me the hell out. And he is the immature type, so he doesn't take no for an answer. I cannot convince him to keep his mouth shut and keep his beliefs to himself. Sometimes I feel like blocking him. But I do not have the heart to do this.

You'd be doing this guy a favour by blocking him for a smidge until he does look around...then you could tell him in plain English, that opinions are fine, but his are getting you down. He needs to realise that you're his close friend, and not his sounding board and whether you realise it or not, he'll eventually do your head in and unwittingly push you away...and if you think about it hard enough, this is beginning to happen now.

Thank you! I'll definitely think of it

You can not do anything special, bypassing the "sharp corners" with a friend, because friendship tolerates and forgives some peculiarities and "idiosyncrasies" (sensitive reactions to certain topics) of your friend.If you want to, let's say, "work" with your reactions to certain aspects of your friendly communication, make them more conscious and manageable, which means they are anticipated, tolerant and flexible, - start by noticing these situations themselves.When such typical situations are highlighted, outlined and more or less understood, it becomes possible to set meaningful goals and begin living what you asked about: "what to do about it?"Some decisions of the "hard" sides of your communication will be born naturally, as if by themselves, from the context of communication.Remember that your relationship is developing!

This guy with his own view of life and worldview, it's best to be neutral when he talks about Finism and other things, as I remember, he wanted to share his opinion, it's better to pass by such topics, and then you see yourself become such a gentleman.

Thanks, you all! And I do understand 100% that he has views that he feels is necessary to share, and believes in red pills. But sometimes it just looks like he loves to upset me. It seems like he harasses me with his teachings just to get a reaction out of me. For example, he recently gave me so much shit for not being able to do a single pull-up, while he can. I can't help but find it hypocritical and ableist. Because he goes on and on about how men and women are biologically different, yet gives me shit for having biologically less strength than him. Pure bullshit.

I often say that as many people as there are in the world, there are so many opinions. therefore, we cannot judge anyone for his opinion, but there are moments that contradict the norms of morality as much as possible.I think you need to distance yourself from such a friend and see if he changes his radical opinion. if not, how can you be a close friend with a person with whom you have different opinions.

Sometimes relationships start out great, and people are not ready to take into account each other's polar different worlds. They ignore their differences, do not pay attention to the fact that they perceive the world in completely different ways and pursue different goals.Problems begin when you have to make a choice. For example, you like fast food, and your partner adheres to a healthy diet. Or you like romantic comedies, and your lover is a fan of thrillers. And in general, different tastes are not a problem, however, if you did not initially discuss these points and did not prepare for a compromise, the understatement that will provoke quarrels and quarrels will soon appear in the relationship. You knew what kind of guy you were dating, right? Or didn't you know him well? You should talk to him specifically on this topic, if you really value your connections with him, then you should immediately talk to him and discuss all this. If he really is friends with you and values you, then he will understand you and will not leave you alone.

Sometimes relationships start out great, and people are not ready to take into account each other's polar different worlds. They ignore their differences, do not pay attention to the fact that they perceive the world in completely different ways and pursue different goals.Problems begin when you have to make a choice. For example, you like fast food, and your partner adheres to a healthy diet. Or you like romantic comedies, and your lover is a fan of thrillers. And in general, different tastes are not a problem, however, if you did not initially discuss these points and did not prepare for a compromise, the understatement that will provoke quarrels and quarrels will soon appear in the relationship. You knew what kind of guy you were dating, right? Or didn't you know him well? You should talk to him specifically on this topic, if you really value your connections with him, then you should immediately talk to him and discuss all this. If he really is friends with you and values you, then he will understand you and will not leave you alone.

When we met 4 years ago, I didn't know him that much. It was a couple years ago when he started with his unsolicited advice and saying some sexist things, such as women not working after having kids (I definitely want to stop working for kids, but until they grow older, but apparently he has a problem with that as well) or women cheating for different reasons than men cheating. Right now I should find a way to avoid more bullshit without saying stop or showing that I am bothered. Cause at this point it looks like bothering me amuses him.

"For example, he recently gave me so much shit for not being able to do a single pull-up, while he can." This combined with his sexist views, amused me. Really? With all this new-found 'knowledge' about sexual roles, he is not aware of the biological differences between men and women? As in, women's greatest physical strength is in their thighs and legs, so they can remain mobile through that experience called pregnancy. Men in general, have more upper body strength. You cant see, but I'm rolling my eyes. I have a similar situation with a friend of mine. His political beliefs are the polar opposite of mine, and his Facebook page has one update after another ridiculing people whose voting record is different from his. I care about him, and we *could* socialize, (He's asked) but I've decided not to. It's clear what he thinks about *the people who vote the way I do.* It makes me sad, but I think if I say anything, he'll just block me. And that would make me sad, too. We've known one another for decades. I liked people more before people started hectoring one another about what they *should want.* Watching to see what other people suggest.

Ooh you have similar situation! Ya, I personally believe both our friends are really good people. Just like us, they stand for what they believe in. I personally don't care much about our differences. The problem I am having is just his immaturity of prying and highering his expectation when he felt like it. I am not sure if this is normal, but ever since he "teased" me about my pull ups, I have been rushing to change bands and eventually not needing them anymore. I am currently on my second last band and I still am angry about the fact that I can't complete a full pull up without it. Meanwhile, he can now do five full pull ups. I am proud of him for it, but at the same time it just pisses me the hell off how he is biologically privileged and has the audacity to tell me that I can't do it cause I am not doing the right thing. Fml

You wrote in the previous comment about what keeps you together. It's that you both support each other in difficult times. It's cool, really. But your communication should not contradict your or his beliefs. Because of this, the topics you talk about most often should not make you or him feel uncomfortable. Friendship is about trust and respect between people. And most importantly, you both have to work on the relationship. Because if your friend doesn't care about it at all, that his words may offend or hurt you, screw him!

Oh, this is really a very strange situation. I don't even really know what to say. I think you need to stop communicating with this person. Just a little studying psychology, I realized that there is no point in trying to change a person. I have tried to check it many times. And it really is. People change their beliefs, goals and objectives only of their own free will. The most you can do is push a person to change. But you can't change him completely if he doesn't want to. You have to explain to him that you don't like what he's become. And after he refuses to change, end the communication.

Hi! I didn't have such friends, but I think this is not very good behavior. If a person has his own beliefs about certain topics (religion, gender, etc.), then you should not impose your point of view on him. You can argue and talk about a lot, but it's worth avoiding such topics, because there is a 90% guarantee that it will most likely end in a quarrel, especially if the interlocutors are very determined. I advise you to explain to your friend what topics he should avoid when talking to you, because it is unpleasant for you. In the future, this person will not cause you any inconvenience.