Let it Ride? Or Step Up?

Hello, My name is James. I'm just turned 19 Years old. I've run into a mountain of issues during the past 3 months with my girlfriend of 3 Years. To Fully Understand my issues. Background should be given. HS Sweethearts that were inseparable, talked all the time to each other(Still do), we only hung out primarily with each other when we were in the same state. Love each other dearly (Still Do). We talk about our future quite often. I'd say it's been a serious relationship for past 3 years. I've moved a year ago to Georgia and She's in Texas and we've still kept the relationship strong. But recently a string of problems have been occurring. She has always loved having friends and hanging out, and now that I'm gone she has nobody for close company. And lately she's been telling me about "Mini Crushes" Small feelings, about the guys that are nice to her. (She is a beautiful girl.)Since I've been gone for a year, her transition has been to friends. We still talk for hours every day. And I've completely understood why she having these feelings about guys that are absurdly nice to her. But it got worse she was in a bad situation where she was hanging out at another guys house one on one, even after he warned her and said something might happen(sexually) because he liked her alot. When she went over she ended up having somewhat unforced sex the guy only which lasted 7 minutes or so. But The way she told me it happened she said she was unwilling. She didn't undress herself. She said she was frozen and just missed someone's company. She said she didn't enjoy it at all she didn't even get wet. And The guy who used her isn't even talking to her because she burst into tears after and slapped him, and left. Basically after the whole ordeal she told me the day after and based on her hysteria and fits of sobbing and her wanting to kill herself and expecting me to break up with her. I was willing to look past it. But my disgust for her weakness and my trust was definitely altered and in a bad way. She went into the situation telling me all about it, and I trusted her to be able to halt the situation if it escalated. And she failed my expectations. Than after we've passed that, a month later the wreckage has been cleaned up and we are back to normal. When I say back to normal I mean she still has close friends that like her at arm's length like before when she went over to the guys house. She says it makes her feel special. And ever since she started working at a waterpark her confidence has went up. But I've always been the compromising one she continues to not tell the guys that are all over her and sweet on her to back off. She tells me she doesn't want to lose a "friend". She knows she's being selfish she has told me. But she doesn't want to reject them because they might back off for good. She says, "I'm terrible and selfish, I know. But I don't want to lose friends." She's admitted to learning about not putting herself on one-one situations with people anymore. But She lets these guys swoon over her and shower her with compliments while at work facebook, etc.. While I'm over in a different state, With a few people that flirt with me. It's the end of the world to her. I try and develop friendships she gets hyper-defensive and doesn't even like when I talk to girls and tell her and I obviously push these friends away because I've never seen friends being that close like that. I don't like people liking me without me returning the feelings, it makes me feel uncomfortable. We have completely different personalities, I've been anti-social all my life and she is the opposite. She puts herself out there and wants attentions. I've lived with her open "small" feelings but even since the cheating thing, I've never been able to fully feel secure. I get small nervous jealous feelings when she tells me about these guys and she never doesn't tell me things which is really good. But I have brought up her telling guys "Enough is enough, back off." But she won't do it because she has felt she has learned from her mistake. So she'll continue having them close but never go somewhere with them. She absolutely loves me, I know for a fact. She swoons over me but I don't know what to do. She loves me, and other guys love her. And she doesn't tell them to back off even after what happened and I forgave her. What do you all think I should do? Tell her, to squash these people flirting with her, Or should I continue biting my tongue and let the stuff ride?

Well, after reading this I can feel the love you have for one another. However, if she doesn't respect your wishes to tell the men in her life she is happily taken, but she is defensive if any similar action occurs to you, then you need to decide if she's in love with you. There is a thin line between loving someone and being in love with someone. I spent 10 years loving my husband but not being in love with him. I didn't know the difference until I found someone who treated me as I treated him and without argument. I'm sure you know you are young, and I'm sure people will tell you that. I was married by your age to my HS sweetheart and the divorce was absolute terror with a child between the cross fires. I know it may not make a lot of sense, but it sounds as though she has low self esteem. Which means she doesn't love herself. Women like that tend to need the affection from others which unfortunately leads to cheating. I'm glad you could forgive her for her "indescrection" but remember you can't forget. If she chooses to continue down the path she's on, it will not end well for you. Tread lightly and explain your feelings of betrayal and explain her behavior is leading down a dangerous path for your relationship. If she is truly in love with you, she will stop. If she loves you and cares for your feelings and sees your feelings as equally important to hers, she'll stop. But if she feels her rain of affection from others is more important than the pain it causes you, then it's not love and unfortunately you should move on.