Carrying heavy burden
APOSTOLICGIRL - Sep 12 2022 at 06:46
Hi! I am new to this forum. I join here because I want to reach out my big problem. I didn't tell my problem to my parents because I don't want them to worry and feel stress. I am the breadwinner of our family, I need to support my family and give there needs everyday but I can't because of the big circumstances we've encounter last year until now. I have a lot of debt.:( Yes I pray and I believe that God will provide! my father was diagnose tuberculosis and pneumonia last year, this year march our car crashed, my uncle died from cancer stage four nasopharyngeal cancer and my work stop last march.
Hi Apostolicgirl,
So sorry for the huge delay, it seems you posted when all respondents were too busy all at-once. Hope you see this?
******************
Oh, crikey. You are under pressure, aren't you. But why does it fall to you to support and look after your entire family?
Hi thank you for your concern. my family doesn't have a work, my mother and father are not in good condition to find work. Now I feel drowning thinking that there is no way to solve my problem. :(
Hi Soulmate,
I'm used to being the one who supported daughter to their parents and that's what Filipino people are. I love being a supported daughter but suddenly there's a big trouble happened and it's my first time encounter these in my whole life that doesn't seem to have a solution. But I'm still praying to God to give me a miracle.
"Hi thank you for your concern. my family doesn't have a work, my mother and father are not in good condition to find work. Now I feel drowning thinking that there is no way to solve my problem. :("
Human-made Problem means there's its flipside, the Human-made Solution. Don't worry about that just yet.
How old are you? And do you have any other living and fit relatives or family friends or your family doctor to tell of your predicament, which obviously is Overload? Any Social Support services in your country?
And are there any routes to getting help in your country or locale, but by which you're a bit intimidated due simply to lacking full-adult experience and not being sure how to go about it or what to say?
If not any governmental support/welfare - what about any charities, even UK or American ones based in your country? Have you thought of having a Google to see what's out there?
Also, do you have or could you make a spare room to rent out to a local worker but whom has a travel a long distance (proving too expensive now) thus is looking for weekday lodgings?
I'm 31 years old. I am applying now to work in Japan, my tentative flight is November.
Ok - Roger that! Be right back as soon as I can, please bear with me for a bit longer.
okay, thank you for responding my message. I hope the weight I feel now will go away.I'm getting scared
Be with you this afternoon, hold on.
Hi, you know I have debt now almost 200,000 pesos (3400$) they scared me through message, call and email
Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I've had a hell of a week in RL - everything's delayed!
"I'm 31 years old. I am applying now to work in Japan, my tentative flight is November."
I wouldn't try to in effect skip the country with unpaid debts if I were you. Any lender just wants to know where they stand and to see you make an effort, even just a gestural monthly payment. They just want to know you're not a scumbag who takes loans and credit, knowing full-well they don't intend ever paying them off, i.e. they're stealing from that company.
I think you need a credit consolidator company. They put all your debts in one pot - acting as your shield and go-between with the creditors - and negotiate a nominal payment for each, according to what he or she establishes is a realistic repayment amount for your financial situation and state. As long as you're paying SOMETHING, these companies' balance sheets can show you (e.g. to investors) as part of the list of genuine, functional customers on the Gains side, as opposed to scam artists on the Losses side, the complete write-offs.
Plus, if you are still making payments on-time each month - no matter if tiny ones - then you can't be taken to court and have a CCJ against you (which would ruin your credit rating). Because you're not refusing and failing to pay anything.
I'm not an expert in this, though. Do you think you could surf the internet under Credit Consolidation Companies (followed by your region and country) - and then check what reviews their existing and past customers have given them before giving them a call?
If you get that organised - I believe it can be done over the phone - then you'll be in a better state to succeed in your new job.
PS: You are certainly not the only person newly in this situation today, btw. Brexit then Covid really did stuff a lot up, including previously okay- or comfortably-off people. Whether or not you accrued these debts because of the economic and world disruption these last 3 or more years, the climate will automatically endow your creditors and the consolidation company people with a more understanding attitude towards you and those like you now. They bloody have to! If they want their money back some day rather than never.
Try that and report back. :-)
I also think, if you're going to be vacating your room, maybe you could ask around friends and family for a trusted lodger on a 6-monthly, renewable 'contract' - informal (because they're well-trusted by someone you trust)? You could offer them a really cut rate (and people EVERYWHERE are desperate for affordable rental now!) in return for services of care rendered on your parents?...like a live-in amateur but capable carer's job?...part OR full-time?
Can you ask around?
Informal so that they pay CASH (and your folks note every weekly or monthly payment (weekly's safer) in a little booklet so they don't lose track and there are never any confusions leading to arguments, possible).
That way, they have care and an income. Even less worrying leading to a dumbed-down brain while you're trying to learn a new job.
Food for thought?