Hate myself

I suffer with thread vein’s, varicose veins, red small blood spots on my face, I have wrinkles that need Botox and filler and I hate myself so much. I am 52 years old and had these problems quite a long time now. My doctor will not do anything with the thread veins or varicose vein as he said it’s cosmetic. it’s obviously not bad enough for them to do it and don’t see it as a problem when in fact it is to me and gets me down and depressed. I got left £20000 in my mothers will and I’m really scared to use the money. I’ve never had much in my life and this will be the most I will ever have in my life. I was thinking of using some of it to get all my horrible things done on my body to make me happy. I’m just so scared as I know it will probably not be cheap to get all my things done and I want the money to last me for awhile. My husband as never had much money and it would be nice to go on holiday and get all my stuff done but I’m to scared to use it. I have nothing else to live on so been using a-bit to buy a few things. I know it will not last forever and I don’t know what I should do. Does anyone know where I can get all my stuff done but not cost a fortune and not get ripped off. How can I make this money last me yet still use a bit to make me happy. My husband as seen my veins and all my horrible wrinkles etc and does not say anything but I see them and it’s affecting how I feel and how I look.

First, I'm sorry for your loss. Botox is only temporary. Botox needs to be re-done every three to four months. The veins? I don't know. Mine aren't painful, so I haven't had them treated (I'm in my sixties). If you *truly* have nothing else to live on, no job for you or your husband, no pension, nothing - you have much much bigger things to worry about than wrinlkes and spider veins. This would buy food and pay expenses for me for about a year. To spend it on cosmetic surgery or even a trip would be foolish. If this is all the money you will ever have, I would suggest using it for some kind of job training, and a few pieces of clothing appropriate for that job. Seriously. You could work another ten years, and you may live another thirty. I'm still working at 66, and the owner of the place I work just retired at 78. Maybe welfare is more generous in the UK, or maybe I don't understand your financial situation fully.

My condolences too, FOLLOP. Are you in the UK? I had a similar "we no longer cover this under the NHS" situation a few years back. I simply asked the reception staff for another appointment with a different practise doctor, who DID then refer me for treatment. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil when coffers are (post-covid) low. Worth a try in order to protect your inheritance?

Hello I’m the person who as posted this topic. OldMainer my husband works full time and he as a few pensions and we have life insurance in place so things aren’t that bad. I’m looking for work as I know the money won’t keep forever. SoulMate yes I live in the uk and I can try to see if I can get into see a doctor and take a look but everything is done over the phone now and it’s hard to even get in to see one. How bad where your veins to get them treated on the NHS and what did you say to get them done. Where they really that bad or just ugly to have and look at?

Hi Follop: What if you loved yourself for having veins and wrinkles, instead of hating yourself for it? That kind of love for yourself will cost you no money...? Amie

No, sorry, FOLLOP - I didn't have varicose or thread veins, it was a different condition altogether. The similarity was being told No by the first doctor I saw. There's another thing you can do: pay to see a Private doctor, purely and solely for his professional assessment and opinion of its extremeness of degree (which you ensure to have confirmed in a letter (but should be, automatically, anyway)). Doing so does not affect your rights to NHS treatment, and should be enough to convince this or your next GP that your problem is indeed unsightly and confidence- and/or quality-of-life-shattering, enough to warrant being accepted as an exception to the "no more minor procedures" rule.

PS: There's also regularly getting a spray-tan? I've heard it works really well to cover or camoflage, PLUS, as an added bonus, a tan makes one feel miles more bodily and facially attractive, anyway. Olbas Oil is said to be effective as well (including for stretch-marks just fy everyone's i). You could combine the two.