Want to do what others are doing

Why do I get jealous of other peoples lives and follow what they are doing and want to be like them. I go on holidays with my husband, have nights away, meals out and go the cinema yet I feel other people have better lives. If our kids go on holiday, to gigs or nights away I get jealous even thou I want them to be having fun and looking after themselves. I settled down young and had my kids and didn’t have fun or me time and I don’t blame anyone but myself. I could of changed my life but I didn’t and I look back and see all I have missed out on. We have lived were we are for 4 years and I have seen quite a few neighbours move out of the street. I wonder if we ever will thou people move for different reasons. I like and don’t like were we live but would rather live near the coast but I doubt that will ever happen. It’s like I should be doing what everyone else is doing instead of just living my life and doing stuff that makes me and my husband happy. My husband said why do we have to be like everyone else and he’s so right. Maybe I feel I’m missing out if we don’t do the same as everyone.

Hi SunStar123: Reads to me that you feel that you are living life outside, on the margins of life (having little to no fun), and you are looking at people who take the center stage in life, people having fun, living life like it should be lived. Is this how you feel? Amie

Social media has made envy a worldwide pastime. Often people are vacationing on borrowed money, so their lives aren't as carefree as it might seem. Posts are usually about the wonderful things- the new babies or grandchildren, the vacations, promotions, birthday celebrations. FEw people post about the job opportunities they lost, the broken water heater that needed replacing, the well pump that stopped pumping, the oil tank that rusted out. People seldom take to Insta or Fakebook when their teen has started sneaking out at night or is stealing from them, or has been suspended from school for bullying. Never have I seen anyone post about his or her addicted spouse or adult child and the chaos those folks cause for their loved ones. I'd love to move to a smaller home, but I can't afford it, real estate is sky high here and my partner and I aren't young enough to renovate a handyman special. What we CAN do is to schedule modest vacations to places not so very far away and budget and plan for those trips. So, that's what we're doing.

It's natural to feel like you are missing out if you don't do the same things as everyone else. But you don't have to be like everyone else in order to have a fulfilling life. Trying to fit in and be like everyone else can be stressful and can lead to an unfulfilling life. There is no need to conform to societal expectations or do what everyone else is doing. Embrace your uniqueness and celebrate it.