Accused of Being Lazy.

A couple of years ago, prior to Covid, I had a job that lasted for the better part of a decade. I got along well with most of my coworkers and was liked by my employer, and even had a reputation for being hard-working and reliable. I had a series of events happen where I became progressively depressed and destructive, and this poured over into my work towards the end, but it didn't really impact my work performance as much as my attitude on the job. I actually lost my job over confronting a coworker who was contributing nothing to our workplace, in my eyes. I wound up finding a job with a new company, and stayed with them off and on for the last several years. At best it was a place that kept welcoming me back and enabled me to move up, but at worst it was the place where my reputation was utterly destroyed. People began to talk and became noticeably angry about me, especially after I moved up. Ironically moving up was more difficult for me, and I couldn't figure out exactly what was wanted from me in the position. I left the company and came back entry-level, thinking most of the chatter would die off of I were a grunt like everyone else. It didn't change things, and in fact people grew more disrespectful and angry. I parted ways with the company for good. In the months since, I tried my hand at another job, in another town, far away from the reach of the other job. My thinking was, it would be a clean slate and a way to avoid negative influence from people who had anything to do with my last job. I don't think it worked. In fact I can't really prove it and I'm not sure how, but one of the workers at this job knew of me from somewhere, likely the last job, even though I have no real recollection of him. I don't particularly like the person, and I'm almost certain he down-talked me from the moment I got in at the new job. This resulted in the same exact situation carrying over to this job, with people getting angry and gossiping that I'm being lazy. I've kept showing up on time and doing the job, and constantly ask questions to make sure I'm not screwing up, but I still keep hearing negative chatter. It gets especially hurtful when college-aged kids criticize me and boss me around. Soon I will be starting at another job. I am more optimistic about this one and think it could lead to more of a real career anyway, but I am aware that the potential still exists for these same problems. What I would really prefer to do is go back to my old job, if that is an option. (The job that lasted for many years.) It seemed less cutthroat there, and I felt like more people had a similar mindset and weren't there to systematically target and gossip, but to do the job and be friendly. I see people at my current job who get away with doing basically whatever they want and it's all tasks I've done before at my old job, so they aren't doing anything particularly special in my opinion. They just have a few years of seniority and know how to charm management. But the years of criticism and gossip and people calling me lazy has really gotten to me. It's followed me across state lines and to different addresses, and has introduced me to a lot of very angry, two-faced individuals. I used to feel like most people were neutral towards me, but now I have to question whether most people I meet are an enemy or have been negatively influenced on the matter of me in some way. Even knowing that the people in my life who matter are there for me, it still really effects my life at times when so many people dislike me. My goal for the next year is to gravitate towards a job that works, and a place that is accepting of me. If this lazy viewpoint keeps following me around, even after getting a new place, I'm not really sure what to do. I think it's possible I'm just not in the right industry, or I'm not around the right sort of people. I know of people who have done less and they don't seem to be getting judged as harshly as me. Apparently I've really irked a lot of people these past couple of years. I'd like some feedback and outside perspective on this. What can I do to overcome the gossip, and ensure I am doing everything I can to be a useful employee?

You've grabbed your issue by the balls when you use the word gossip. It's very name hisses & it comes from those who live down at that level. If you stay above it, & don't let it get to you, the gossip will eventually disappear because it's needs a negative reaction from you for it to flourish. Those who need it & use it against others to be able to function daily, are seriously no good for anyone, let alone themselves. When you sometimes have to wade through what's accepted as everyday life with these people, no matter what, where, how or who, you should always scrape clean the bottom of your boots. You need to step up & be a leader, rather than a follower & to hell with college age kids & their attitudes, but beware of the new woke world out there where everyone gets a prize regardless even if they put in the effort or not to run the race in the first instance. You want to change Industries? then there's nothing stopping you regardless of age, colour or creed. If you arm yourself with a positive attitude & go & get the right training to change careers, then you're already being successful at getting on with your life. The past is for learning from & not for living in...good luck with your new career.

"I actually lost my job over confronting a coworker who was contributing nothing to our workplace, in my eyes." I'm left to infer this was not someone you supervised. You just decided to take it upon yourself to critique his/her performance. Not your job, clearly, so on top of whatever else people noticed, you looked hostile. I get it, actually - I've worked in places where management took f o r e v e r to do something about a non-performer. Perhaps not surprisingly, those are the places where the attitude is laid back and a little less stressful. Still, it wasn't your place. "I still keep hearing negative chatter. It gets especially hurtful when college-aged kids criticize me and boss me around." It sounds like you have a bit of a bad attitude about people younger than you in a supervisory role. I've had to supervise people older than I, and that attitude was not helpful. I am now employed by someone almost young enough to be my child. I know my place. She respects me, and I know her job is something I'm not qualified to do. "I felt like more people had a similar mindset and weren't there to systematically target and gossip, but to do the job and be friendly." That's the ideal, but not every workplace turns out that way. "Ironically moving up was more difficult for me, and I couldn't figure out exactly what was wanted from me in the position...I know of people who have done less and they don't seem to be getting judged as harshly as me." There may actually be a mis-understanding on your part about the priorities of your position. It's possible you are in the wrong industry. "But the years of criticism and gossip and people calling me lazy has really gotten to me. It's followed me across state lines and to different addresses, and has introduced me to a lot of very angry, two-faced individuals. I used to feel like most people were neutral towards me, but now I have to question whether most people I meet are an enemy or have been negatively influenced on the matter of me in some way. Even knowing that the people in my life who matter are there for me, it still really effects my life at times when so many people dislike me." The constant in this equation is YOU. You still sound depressed, so maybe the next step is to get some therapy and/or medication for that. I take anti-depressants and have for years. I *still* am careful to censor my talk. I can be sarcastic and my comments can sound harsh - even when I don't intend for that to be the case. There's a lot **a whole lot** that goes through my head and is never spoken. Another thing that tempts me is "sticking my nose into things that are none of my business." I've gotten way, way better over the years about staying on my own side of the street, and assisting wnen asked. Nobody likes a know-it-all or a Negative Nancy, and my desire to 'help' combined with low grade depression mek me ideally suited to careen off in that direction. When a situation looks tempting, I remind myself I have my own work to attend to.