Don't know if I made the right decision
HELLOKAJDHXK - May 12 2023 at 06:53
A few days ago I started a new job in a day care. The job is ok it comes with some hardships but it's expected. My dilemma is if I made the right decision to take the job because I have been a stayed at home mom for the last 3 years. My oldest is 3 and the smallest is 1. I miss them so much to the point that I have cried everyday since I started.
The first day I cried all afternoon. They also miss me. My one year old already cried when I go to work and asks for me all day. The oldest has taken it better but I do notice some things here and there. For example we went to the store and my husband and I always take one kid and go out sperate ways so that we can look at what we each want. He took the oldest and he was begging my husband to go where mama and his little brother were and he never did that. It broke.my heart.
I feel guilty that I am taking care of other kids and not them. I see them and i want to cry and I dread going to work because I don't get to see them. I just miss them so much.
Hi HelloKadhxk,
Sorry you've had such a wait! Respondents are thin on the ground at the moment.
What sort of day care? You mean for toddlers...nursery school?
"I miss them so much to the point that I have cried everyday since I started. "
Ahhhh. But of course you have. It's a huge change and a huge wrench. Did you think you'd adjust to it in a mere couple of days? Nooo. It'll probably take about two weeks or so.
"The first day I cried all afternoon. They also miss me. My one year old already cried when I go to work and asks for me all day. The oldest has taken it better but I do notice some things here and there. For example we went to the store and my husband and I always take one kid and go out sperate ways so that we can look at what we each want. He took the oldest and he was begging my husband to go where mama and his little brother were and he never did that. It broke.my heart. "
Awwww. (((Hug)))
"I feel guilty that I am taking care of other kids and not them. I see them and i want to cry and I dread going to work because I don't get to see them. I just miss them so much."
You shouldn't feel guilty given that what you are doing, in fact, is A JOB. You're not being a mother to other children, just a minder, and neither are you in motherly love with them. You're just trying to generate more family income (I presume, because you and husband are struggling now, like everyone?)
I'll get to suggestions on how to speed-up the kids being happy and secure again in a tick, but first...
Question: is it working or is your salary mainly going on childcare costs?
PS: And what does hubby have to say about yours and the kids' acute separation anxiety?
(PPS: BTW, you're nicely 'leaky'. You clearly deeper down already agree with me (regarding your "betrayal" being nothing of the sort!) because, you categorised your thread under Work instead of Emotional. :))