Does she want me back?

My partner and I split up 6 months ago because I had some underlying issues that I wasn't aware of and for her she had to draw a line in the sand. The first 4 months were awful for both of us as neither of us had done something terrible but for her, she felt it was best that we went our own ways. We both clearly missed our best friend though. Over the last 6-8 weeks we have spoke almost daily and seen each other a few times. I am convinced she doesn't want to get back with me however her behaviour confuses me. She is super caring still, she has held my hand and stared into my eyes a lot on an evening when we'd had a few drinks. Her conversation tone still includes "babe" or other similar words. It's been so difficult to get to this stage of "friendship" I'm so afraid of asking questions through fear of losing her again. Any advice will be so appreciated, thanks in advance

Hi LBF, and welcome! Her behaviour doesn't confuse me. Not one iota. I'll be with you tomorrow (it's 2.50am here).

Sorry - got waylaid - haven't forgotten you, though! I'll aim for tomorrow by end of eve.

Hi again, LBF, and thanks for your patience! "My partner and I split up 6 months ago because I had some underlying issues that I wasn't aware of and for her she had to draw a line in the sand. The first 4 months were awful for both of us as neither of us had done something terrible but for her, she felt it was best that we went our own ways. We both clearly missed our best friend though." What were these underlying issues according to her? "Over the last 6-8 weeks we have spoke almost daily and seen each other a few times. I am convinced she doesn't want to get back with me however her behaviour confuses me. She is super caring still, she has held my hand and stared into my eyes a lot on an evening when we'd had a few drinks. Her conversation tone still includes "babe" or other similar words. " So she's insisted you have underlying issues. Although you hadn't done anyything terrible, she's claimed these 'issues' are her dealbreaker. Although you experienced awful 'withdrawal' symptoms, she felt it best that you went your separate ways. Bar the Friendship. So now you're Friends (which understandably, you've placed in single quote-marks)...but meanwhile she's behaving, including vocally, in myriad ways that are supposed to be the exclusive reserve of a boyfriend (as if the demotion to Friend never happened, or didn't happen fully) and aren't therefore at all appropriate with a platonic Friend. I.e. hugely mixed signals. But you can't discuss this with her to find out why or alternatively, get your new roles clarified and corrected, including clear boundaries laid down, because you feel you've worked too hard and, presumably, any such approach attempt would be risking the friendship. Correct so far?

Yes all correct so far. The underlying issues were that we both agreed early on that we wanted to have a family and being a same sex relationship this can be a longer process to go through and I did truly want that however I did nothing to plan for it. Which through therapy I have been having I've realised I have some things that I need to deal with that has made me be like that.

Hi-Hi! You're not quite ready for a babbie, but only because you have other people's baggage in your suitcase that needs removing first. Very common stuff. Very sensible. As for her: The dance she is doing is called, Trying to have her cake and eat it, while keeping her options open. To get to keep the perks of the relationship despite she ended the relationship. To keep you warm on-the-side. But meanwhile, without any of the usual partner rights and expectations. Meaning, she still gets all the perks but this time literally NONE of the work - and you, now without any right to complain or object (lest she break the "friendship"). "I did truly want that however I did nothing to plan for it." The way she's treating you now is WHY you did nothing. You deeper down under the desire for a babbie sensed she was not The One, not for creating a little family with. Fair comment?