Jack of all, master of none

Have you ever wondered what is your purpose in life? Are you satisfied with whatever you are doing daily? I find myself getting tired/ bored after a while and look for another something ‘interesting’ thing to do which would keep me going. It feels like I’m searching for something constantly and have not found it. I start some thing new (like a job, or being a homemaker or an instrument lesson or a social work) excitedly, but after a while (3-4 months to 2-3 years) I don’t feel like continuing. The desperation to change the activity then is so intense that I keep jumping off between things often. It is kind of jack of all but master of none situation. But in hindsight I sometimes regret those decisions too. Like oh, I should have continued or endured that job for a little while , may be it was not that bad as I thought. But now time has passed and it’s harder to switch back to that activity. Is it mid life crisis? For the last decade or so I’ve been experiencing such waves in my life that constantly bring confusions and doubts in my mind. It feels like I’m going in circles instead of straight line. I want to be better version of me everyday but I keep repeating mistakes, keep getting disappointed 😔. Am I expecting too much from life? Is it normal to think this way? Why am I not satisfied in whatever I do? Am I taking decisions impulsive? Am I overthinking this?

Sorry for the wait, Blue_Sky - be with you a.s.a.p.

Hi again! It seems there's only me to answer everyone's threads at the mo. so - which thread do you want me to answer first, and which can wait another day or two?

Hi Soulmate, So, I accidentally posted two threads for the same topic. Both are the same. We can continue here and either ignore/ delete the other one.

We'll continue here, then. :) Also, I've asked Blue Sky Without-A-Hyphen (gaah!) to start again, using a completely different alias. That'll be 5p, please. (haha)

So - Blue_Sky (with hyphen/underscore LOL)... "Have you ever wondered what is your purpose in life?" No, I can't say I have. I'm vocational - "it" decided. "Are you satisfied with whatever you are doing daily? I find myself getting tired/ bored after a while and look for another something ‘interesting’ thing to do which would keep me going." How old are you? Are you retired? "It feels like I’m searching for something constantly and have not found it. I start some thing new (like a job, or being a homemaker or an instrument lesson or a social work) excitedly, but after a while (3-4 months to 2-3 years) I don’t feel like continuing." What happens in that 3 months to 3 years that turns you off? What was it you imagined about each of those examples that at the time got you all excited? The potential? The people? "The desperation to change the activity then is so intense that I keep jumping off between things often. It is kind of jack of all but master of none situation. But in hindsight I sometimes regret those decisions too. Like oh, I should have continued or endured that job for a little while , may be it was not that bad as I thought." Well, was it or wasn't it? Things OFTEN look better in hindsight, but...usually, your feet tend to validate these feelings/urges to return only if they're real - and yours didn't - you didn't go back, look: "But now time has passed and it’s harder to switch back to that activity. Is it mid life crisis? For the last decade or so I’ve been experiencing such waves in my life that constantly bring confusions and doubts in my mind. It feels like I’m going in circles instead of straight line. I want to be better version of me everyday but I keep repeating mistakes, keep getting disappointed 😔." They didn't go back because THEY knew (they always know) it wasn't the right thing to do. Mistakes are good. Especially if you didn't get to - or weren't allowed - to make them, growing up. Mistakes/Failures are the Pavoirs to Success. Ever heard that one? It's true. I'd have said you're SAMPLING stuff...but maybe you're sticking with things too long? And wouldn't that be ironic when you thought you should accrue a decent innings. Noooo....in life you've got to have the skill called Dumping The Duds. It applies to everything, not just blokes you date. That doesn't rule out a crisis - or crossroads - again, need to know your age. "Am I expecting too much from life? Is it normal to think this way? Why am I not satisfied in whatever I do? Am I taking decisions impulsive? Am I overthinking this?" Sampling. But the things you're sampling aren't intellectually challenging enough for you. WERE they, you wouldn't have the time or the inclination to "over"-think anything. See how that works? What were your interests and hobbies as a kid onward?

Hello SOULMATE, Thank you for the reply and the insights you provided. To answer your questions - 1. I'm 39. To give you some background, I started as one of the brightest students. I and people around me always thought that I would make a good career and it certainly started that way. I worked for 6-7 years experiencing peak of my career. And then family happened. My time, responsibilities got divided between work, household and family which was too overwhelming and I had to slow down and give up on my job (which I thought was the right decision at the moment). At the back of my mind I always thought it won't be too hard to find a job again but reality struck me hard. It is hard to find a suitable job after break. I did few more jobs but nothing lasted for long. Fortunately, my family is doing well and I don't need to work for the money. Yes, that could be a reason, I lost motivation. I miss the zest/that earnest feeling that I had in my youth. I wanted to become somebody which I would be proud of. If I tell 20 something myself, that you wouldn't have a career that you desired, she would laugh at me. I don't like current 'me'. I know, there is still time but now I'm confused about which direction to go. What I'm good at? What is that one thing (anything) which would make me feel accomplished? 2. 'Mistakes/Failures are the Pavoirs to Success' - Thanks for your kind words. Yes, I know this one and had always thought the same way. I was never afraid to take bold decisions or living by virtue for that matter. But more I think about this, I feel that the time is slipping from my hand, do I have time to make more mistakes? (This could be a classic aging sign :D) 3. You might be right.'They didn't go back because THEY knew (they always know) it wasn't the right thing to do'. Please help me in finding my 'right' thing. People around me seem to have found 'that' thing which keep them going and I haven't found it yet. I can't go on without purpose or motivation. 4. 'Sampling. But the things you're sampling aren't intellectually challenging enough for you.' Yep. That's may be it. Never thought of it that way. Anything which I start as a challenge doesn't feel right after a while. May be it does not accomplish the purpose I anticipated to begin with. 5. Interests & hobbies - 1. I like dancing - I do zumba three times a week. ( I also thought to become a zumba teacher but got scared because of my ephemeral nature. Doesn't feel like spending too much money when I don't earn any.) 2. I like embroidery - I do it for months or so as a background task. I soon realized , this cannot be my career but some recreational activity I can do. 3. I like reading psychology books - I am very much interested in people's behavior, how mind works, etc. May be I try to find some answers there with no luck. (I've thought to study psychology (2-3 years program) but again got scared of that much commitment because of my past experience). 4. I like watching TV, K-Drama - This helps escaping the reality. That could be spoiling me. Keeping too much expectations from life. I always envy actors who get to live/experience multiple lives. I always wonder how they must be feeling doing this scene/ that scene etc. My 'thing' could be totally different which I've not done yet. I might be just happy pursuing it even if I don't become expert in it but one thing is for sure, I'm desperate for find one. Please show me the direction or a way to begin. Thanks.

"1. I'm 39." OH, TO BE 39 AGAIN! Lovely age! "To give you some background, I started as one of the brightest students. I and people around me always thought that I would make a good career and it certainly started that way. I worked for 6-7 years experiencing peak of my career. And then family happened." Happened? HOW did it happen? You make either the marriage or the pregnancy (or both?) sound almost unplanned? "My time, responsibilities got divided between work, household and family" Being convinced to Have It All and then finding out it just means Doing It All, you mean? "which was too overwhelming and I had to slow down and give up on my job (which I thought was the right decision at the moment)." What did husband think? "At the back of my mind I always thought it won't be too hard to find a job again but reality struck me hard. It is hard to find a suitable job after break." I know, and it needs to change. For starters, women who have kids should have the choice to stay at home and do this most paramount long-term project PROPERLY, not feel forced to add another job on top just because the man can't get paid enough for his wife and kid(s) these days. Raising kids IS a job, and not only that, a 24-7 one! And the hardest, most emotionally taxing job in the world, with the most far-reaching consequences if you CAN'T do it fully and thoroughly. I've heard many a woman say of pre-child-raising, that she'd *walked out* of easier jobs! "I did few more jobs but nothing lasted for long. Fortunately, my family is doing well and I don't need to work for the money." Oh, you DON'T need to work. Why did you, and why do you still want to (not a judgement - a purely neutral question)? "Yes, that could be a reason, I lost motivation." Because you didn't need to earn any extra money? I mean, that's the No. 1 motivation, right? "I miss the zest/that earnest feeling that I had in my youth. I wanted to become somebody which I would be proud of." CoughMOTHERHOOD! "If I tell 20 something myself, that you wouldn't have a career that you desired, she would laugh at me." The best laid plans of mice and men, it's known as. Perfectly common to have your little train shunted off its track onto another. "I don't like current 'me'." What do you mean? In what ways don't you? "I know, there is still time but now I'm confused about which direction to go. What I'm good at? What is that one thing (anything) which would make me feel accomplished?" Counsellor. I've READ your responses and they are so core-touchingly empathetic that I wonder if on reading them, the OP immediate broke down into tears (which is good because normally they're long overdue; trying not to break down and cry is as sensible as refusing to do a poo when you need to and holding it in for weeks...bottling-up, putting on a brave face is not good with that size/weight of upset). When I read them, that's what instantly came to mind: counsellor...but trauma counsellor especially (Police Rape Unit?...just something that requires your especially emotionally-soothing ways). Put knowledge of human psychology on top and VOILA - The Whole Package! Or Special Needs Teacher/Teaching assistant, like for ASD/Asperger's and their cousins, Dyslexics, ADHDs. Same thing: very vulnerable and apt-to-get-upset. "2. 'Mistakes/Failures are the Pavoirs to Success' - Thanks for your kind words." They're not kind words, they're facts. Said kindly. See the diff? But you're welcome anyway. :) "Yes, I know this one and had always thought the same way. I was never afraid to take bold decisions or living by virtue for that matter. But more I think about this, I feel that the time is slipping from my hand, do I have time to make more mistakes? (This could be a classic aging sign :D)" YOU'RE ONLY 39 AND YOU GOT PUT ON CAREER PAUSE BY MOTHERHOOD. Are you REALLY panicking over lack of time or is this just panicking over the fact you've never been at a crossroads for so long before now and it's making you feel vulnerable, which you're understandably impatient to make cease? "3. You might be right.'They didn't go back because THEY knew (they always know) it wasn't the right thing to do'. Please help me in finding my 'right' thing. People around me seem to have found 'that' thing which keep them going and I haven't found it yet. I can't go on without purpose or motivation." Oh, you wouldn't! HAH! This is just a tunnel with an end. A not uncommon human developmental process. You can only be speeded-up, not plucked from inside it. The tunnel journey itself is PREPARATION...a gearing-UP for whatever waits at the end of it. Put another way: you're a butterfly that as a caterpillar has gone into Pupae stage. You've woken up to find yourself in some cream-coloured, canvas tent that feels like a body-bag. Enter panic. Enter bashing your wings (arms and legs) against the fabric - for days into weeks. Once you finally rip a hole in that canvas and fight/wriggle out, your wings will not only enable you to fly but - the more and longer you struggled for - the stronger thus higher those wings can carry you. Humans, like caterpillars, don't grow and develop during Ticketyboo times, only through being challenged / made to suffer for whatever period through self-uncertainty all the way to trauma. An Un-anchoring. 'Suffer, the little children, to come unto Me'. I'm not even religious (albeit, am spiritual) but that one aligns with everything I've witnessed and experienced (which is A LOT). "4. 'Sampling. But the things you're sampling aren't intellectually challenging enough for you.' Yep. That's may be it. Never thought of it that way." Too busy panicking, huh. Dumbs you down by at least 15 iQ points. See the vicious circle? "Anything which I start as a challenge doesn't feel right after a while. May be it does not accomplish the purpose I anticipated to begin with." So you're usually Optimistic with a big imagination, then? "5. Interests & hobbies - 1. I like dancing - I do zumba three times a week. ( I also thought to become a zumba teacher but got scared because of my ephemeral nature. Doesn't feel like spending too much money when I don't earn any.) Pardon (the last sentance in brackets?) I didn't get that about spending money? Spending on what - que? "2. I like embroidery - I do it for months or so as a background task. I soon realized , this cannot be my career but some recreational activity I can do." For months? Sorry, weren't you the Spring Chicken who just told me you can't stick at anything? Embroidery is slowly but steadily coming back in. Cottage Industry? Own company (yeah, baby!). "3. I like reading psychology books - I am very much interested in people's behavior, how mind works, etc." AH-HAH! "May be I try to find some answers there with no luck." Answers to what? "(I've thought to study psychology (2-3 years program) but again got scared of that much commitment because of my past experience)." LOL - you've got to admit, that statement is really silly. (You really HAVE been discombobulated, haven't you, LOL.) It reminds me of my son as a young toddler: Him: (pushing the spoon away) Nao! Dunlike 'Pinach! Me: But you've never tried it so how do YOU know? Try it and see - you might LIKE it, Sam-I-Am (he was into Dr Seuss). Him: Nao! Me: Why not? Him: Cuth I dunlike it. Me: But you do like Smarties... Him: (Big grin) Me: Try one spoonful and you can have 2 Smarties to eat straight after for being so brave. Try 2 and you can have 4 Smarties. Try 3 and you can have 8! Turns out he LOVED Spinach. Didn't even stop to eat the Smarties in-between, saved them all till the end. Only reason he didn't want to try Spinach? Because he's tried Brussel Sprouts and other Greens and not liked them and - Green is Green is Green, and 'must all taste the same', eh. So...can you be bribed with a tube of Smarties? :D What about creating some other stage-related incentive? "4. I like watching TV, K-Drama - This helps escaping the reality. That could be spoiling me. Keeping too much expectations from life. I always envy actors who get to live/experience multiple lives. I always wonder how they must be feeling doing this scene/ that scene etc." Distraction from your worries. Perfectly normal. So you'd enjoy trying your hand at acting, then? Any local thespians in your area you could join? "My 'thing' could be totally different which I've not done yet. I might be just happy pursuing it even if I don't become expert in it but one thing is for sure, I'm desperate for find one. Please show me the direction or a way to begin. Thanks." Do you enjoy responding to people's posts on here?

Sorry - how embarrassing! I got you muddled with DoggyDilemma for a minute there. Your posts impressed me because they were especially rounded yet succinct/efficient, as well as sympathetic. Sorry about that. It's like Hades here in Spain at the mo - worse than last year - TEN DEGREES HIGHER ("help meeeeeeeeeee!") and I swear it's starting to fry my braincells. Oh, wait -- that and the fact it's morning and I haven't been to bed yet, HAHAH! But I've just proved my own fried-cells point anyway. My cue to go into a well-deserved coma. Laters!

Whooa!!! What a long reply. I appreciate the time you spent on this. I will ruminate only on few points here- 1. I liked your label ‘sampling’. That justification might work for me to convince myself that I’m still trying new things to find my one. 2. Wasting / Unnecessarily spending ‘someone else’s hard earned money’ ( even if it is your spouse’s) is something that I’m not comfortable with. Hey, no pressure here. My family fully , whole heartedly supports me, still I like to contribute in my own way. 3. Writing my thoughts here (reading it over) and you replying to it have put things in perspective. I think sometimes that validation is only required ( Also how we discount the same validations from our loved ones… and sometimes we just listen to them and no one else ….baffles me. Aaaah.. research topic :D ). 4. Honestly, I like replying to these threads here. I’m curious what emotional problems people face in general. Reading them and finding I’m not the only one thinking wildly, helps a lot. Even if it’s not the same problem, but people find courage and time to write them here is kinda hopeful. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you without judging. This anonymous forum serves that purpose perfectly IMO. P.S. Hope you are doing well in scorching heat. Please take care. 😊

Long? Haha, where have YOU been? I can go for reams. If those are the relevant points - fine. :) "1. I liked your label ‘sampling’. That justification might work for me to convince myself that I’m still trying new things to find my one." It's the correct one, that's why. Personal-development-wise, you've been in statis for ages if you've been a mum, wife and homemaker (bottle-washer, appointments-maker, car-repairs and services organiser, food-shopper, personal clothes and shoes shopper, cleaner/deep-cleaner/constant tidier/chambermaid, laundress/clothes-mender, school theatrical costume-maker, homework supervisor, social and school diary-keeper, school fete helper, cake-baker... cook, cook, cook,... gardener, kid-lifter/carrier-kid-lifter/carrier ....itty-bitty-itty-bitty-chop-change-chop-change-where's the time gone and how many years ago was it I last had a haircut! You neglect/sacrifice yourself by naturally putting your kids and their family, schooling and social life first. Everything that used to fill your life gets squeezed-out and replaced with domestic stuff...unless your kids are relatively docile and you have the reserve energy to keep dinner-partying and having dates out with your 'im indoors, but even then... repetitive, relentless, thankless, feels like groundhog day but isn't...but you wouldn't have it any other way. And then suddenly they start going out without you (off to see X, back later, bye! (slam)) and the parent stuff starts to evaporate, leaving you with ever-widening holes to fill. Your first thought, obviously, is to try visiting the old wells. But motherhood has changed and improved you forever; you're not the same person with the same priorities any more so....enter seeking a new well (which is where you're at). Happening to mums everywhere as we speak. Not unusual at all, having to think about re-inventing yourself and where you want to head next but not having a clue (at first). How come you don't know this? Didn't you watch your own mum go through it (or didn't she ever work)? Boredom and lack of sense of direction IS confidence-sapping to one who's always been on the go and had a map, though. That's why I asked if you`re enjoying answering posts? Is this a new experience for you or have you posted on problems forums before? "2. Wasting / Unnecessarily spending ‘someone else’s hard earned money’ ( even if it is your spouse’s) is something that I’m not comfortable with. Hey, no pressure here. My family fully , whole heartedly supports me, still I like to contribute in my own way. " What do you mean, your spouse's? You're a married couple, it's half yours! Equal say! What do you mean, no pressuring? YOU'RE the one pressuring. Stop being so silly. Well, now, there's self-sacrificing and then there's ignoring your own legal, perfectly commonplace entitlements! How low-maintenance are YOU? It's not like you haven't earned it! I mean - Like to contribute, like to contribute??? I'LL GIVE *YOU* CONTRIBUTION!... ***All the things involved in top-class, live-in nanny and housekeeper/family secretary, etc., etc., altogether, would fetch an annual salary of over 250 Thousand Quid!*** PROBABLY MORE THESE DAYS! See why I say stop being silly? Do this: start preparig for Zumba and, when the time comes for making a capital outlay (up-front weekly town hall/community centre rental, say), let your feet - or this case, your hands - show you if handing over that cash would be a risky or wise move - by whether or not they let go of the notes. If they don't let go then that will undoubtedly be because while you were busy again, thus relaxed again, an even better idea (or novel twist to zumba) came to you. *You need a little project as an aperitif before attempting a main course. Impatient or not - some of your 'muscles' will have siezed up a bit despite others will have been constantly exercised. Your Starter could either develop into or lead to the real McCoy path. So start with something really fun and see where it leads or whether you stumble upon the best side-street ever. Meanwhile, a scare might help jolt you out of your rut more speedily, if you want (, Mrs Impatient). Scary rollercoaster? Parachute jump? Dry-Slope Skiing? Dirt-biking? Anything daredevil, anything 'near-death', but not, that you can think of whereby your decision-anxiety shrinks by comparison into nothing and picking something with confidence and conviction, or something picking you, becomes a no-brainer? What would you pick if you had nothing and no-one else to consider and I had a magic wand? (Say Fighter Jet Pilot, go on, haha.) But I note three other major things you also stuck at very long-term without losing motivation for or quitting: Marriage, Motherhood and Home-Making. So maybe you're just not really a multi-tasker?? Embroidery, huh? Ever tried silver and gold jewellery-making? Point 3, you sound like my son again, haha. E.g. commenting on what a good-looking, very dashing young gentleman he's become (Bond, James Bond...). 'Yeah, but you HAVE to say that cos you're my parent' / 'Nooo?.... It's a fact... and BECAUSE I'm your parent, I can tell you without feeling squeamish or embarrassed' / 'Uhh...uhhh...okayyyy (squirm-squirm). Nah, it's not baffling. You just want a purely objective opinion because right now, a little signpost isn't enough - you want a 10ft neon-lit sign in your face. Warning: Don't open your oven door TOO soon though or - "pleugh", like an unready souffle; you'll put yourself back. Try a scary rollercoaster ride...it's the perfect season for it, anyway! I know it sounds weird but, gaining perspective- and things back into proportion-wise, there's nothing to beat it. (Well, except weed-what-nothing, crossed line...kkkkkkkkkkkkk....!) I suspect you're good at selling, have a good sales mouth, gift of the gab, though - is that right? 4. EXCELLENT. Empty or Emptying Nest Syndrome can be your starting specialism then! :) "I’m curious what emotional problems people face in general." Mostly being targetted, duped, heartbroken, betrayed by Narcissists. Not that bullies-exploiters are anything new, it's just we now know WHY those "giant, nasty a*seholes" are and that there's a word for them, that it's an actual mental illness ("Cluster B" whereby they're the only person who doesn't suffer from it....everyone else that lets them too near or gives them power over them does). Not all of the posts, though. "Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you without judging. This anonymous forum serves that purpose perfectly IMO." Yyyyop! And thank-you for saying so. :) PS: It's the sky-high humidity on top of the heat. And for some reason we're all sweating profusely out of our heads and faces! I feel like a human sprinkler. Already my head hair hasn't been dry even once in the last fortight. It's really concerning. I only just moved here, really, and don't feel it's going to be physically possible to stay if it keeps rising by this many degrees year-on-year! Haha, when the time comes you'll have to help me choose which cooler but still sunny country to leg-it to next! Bloody climate change. Bloody stupid hedonistic spoilt-brat humans that caused it.... don't get me started.

Hi SOULMATE, (such an apt name... I just realized, did you do that on purpose? :D) All the things aside, your reply manages to bring wide smile on my face, no matter what. You are a true angel. Last lines from your post are just hilarious, I can really imagine you being a human sprinkler. :D :D Your reply has some magic that it touches scattered bits and pieces in my brain and manages to bring them together which starts making sense. I may not be good in writing or expressing (lazy lazy..) and replying to every line you write but I will try my best. My point is this certainly helps. "What would you pick if you had nothing and no-one else to consider and I had a magic wand?" You know, it doesn't matter WHAT, I just want to be somebody whom I'm proud of. I really imagine myself busy doing/enjoying 'my' thing daily with no regrets. Something I pursue for long time. ( I feel like a broken record. I know unless I put efforts, this dream would not be realized. noted.) I should also do this thing --- if one thing doesn't work out, I should hop on to another dream quickly without analyzing and criticizing.) You know, I've been applying for jobs for last 2-3 months only to hear rejections. You said it right. The old wells aren't working and I've to find a new one. Zumba may not be that bad. You need money to become a licensed zumba instructor, but I can manage. I think I will give it a try and see what happens. "How come you don't know this? Didn't you watch your own mum go through it (or didn't she ever work)?" - No. She never worked and had always been complacent in her domestic life. In general, every woman around me is like that. They do not think about their life separately from their household. Thant's why I feel like an oddball when I try to be this ambitious, hence self doubts. Anyways, Let's say for now, doing / trying 'something' / Sampling is my thing. Thanks for that. I will let you know how it goes... bye for now. :)

Did I do it on purpose? Nah, I just shasheyed across the keyboard and let my paws do the rest. PMSL. Anyway, thanks for your kind words - and I'm loving your posts, so - we're even...thank-you back! ;D And definitely do keep keeping me posted, yes! PS: "Zumba may not be that bad". Not bad? You're going to be paid, or rather, be paying yourself, for having fun and getting the sort of hot bod that stays with you well into your old-age! And get paid for it! LOL Yeah, force yerself, go on. :D

Hi Soulmate, I think I missed this (or may be more) important point in your reply. You asked - "What happens in that 3 months to 3 years that turns you off? What was it you imagined about each of those examples that at the time got you all excited? The potential? The people?" "So you're usually Optimistic with a big imagination, then?" If I have to figure it out now, like what really changed, only one thing comes to my mind --- 'Priorities'. Example, the job I had hard earned 3 years back, it was the topmost priority then, got overturned few years later by my attention to house / kids. You might be right. I'm not a good multitasker. Or, I become too focused on one task that if I fell short on others, I become uncomfortable. I gather myself doing not enough and I try to over adjust the course (hence, leaving the job). I might be the worst critique of myself ..voila.. that was a revelation there :)) . Thanks for making me realize this. It's not a bad thing to do multiple things with average outcome compared to excelling in one thing (that is also if you are lucky and have talent for :D). You said it right, I've a big imagination keeping big goals in front and analyze, criticize if they don't come through. I should change this thinking of mine. Example, I dream to become a Zumba teacher, but I should focus on short term goals now. 1. Find a good Zumba instructor / class. 2. Complete the course, etc, etc. I should focus on the process / journey rather than outcome so it does not become overwhelming and I would not have that depression feeling if it does not come through. Let me do this for now. I'm excited :)))

Eyup! ""What happens in that 3 months to 3 years that turns you off? What was it you imagined about each of those examples that at the time got you all excited? The potential? The people?" "So you're usually Optimistic with a big imagination, then?" If I have to figure it out now, like what really changed, only one thing comes to my mind --- 'Priorities'. Example, the job I had hard earned 3 years back, it was the topmost priority then, got overturned few years later by my attention to house / kids." As nature intended, yes. You have a very clean and pure programme. Don't worry - you'll get back on the workhorse. You're just a bit ahead of yourself (your programme) at the mo. Filling the pre-mumhood gaps was always going to trigger-in, but it's only just started. "You might be right. I'm not a good multitasker. Or, I become too focused on one task that if I fell short on others, I become uncomfortable." Very insightful of you! :) Anyway, it's been proven, lately, that Multi-Tasking was always a myth where humans are concerned. It's simply split attention, meaning, none of these simultaneously-executed tasks get the full dedication it takes to really succeed whereby you stand back and feel proud of yourself and your self-esteem shoots up; the tasks tend to all end up as "that'll dos", the type that tend to cry out for more or remedying attention afterwards. Waste of time, having to go back again to correct mistakes and inadequacies if you ask me. I guess it depends on what type of cog you are and where you belong in this here Giant Machine. The world NEEDS Perfectionists. If they truly are, rather than merely acting-out and trying to cope with past issues. So, editing that to the positive: you believe that 'if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well'; you like to do things PROPERLY, yes? Excellent, C.V.-worthy quality, that one (employers bloody love perfectionists and dedicationists (is that a word?) (is now :D), for obvious reasons). "I gather myself doing not enough and I try to over adjust the course (hence, leaving the job). I might be the worst critique of myself ..voila.. that was a revelation there :)) ." Well, in that case, reward yourself with some chocolate! No need to worry - you're going to be working it off soon enough. I'm quite envious actually, I think directing a dance-class sounds like a really happy, healthy job...well, were I in a colder country, anyway (I can't tolerate aircon, makes my head feel very sick). Have you had any ideas for your Unique Selling Point (USP) yet?

"Example, I dream to become a Zumba teacher, but I should focus on short term goals now. 1. Find a good Zumba instructor / class. 2. Complete the course, etc, etc. I should focus on the process / journey rather than outcome so it does not become overwhelming and I would not have that depression feeling if it does not come through." Absolutely! That's just good business research and prep. - thumbs-up!

How's it going? Thought of a USP yet?

Hi Soulmate, Been busy lately. Sorry for late reply. I've been researching about Zumba course nearby. I will ask my class instructor as well. She is an angel. I'm hoping she would help me in this. I sometimes feel, it would have been different (I mean not being in this dilemma) if I had a good mentor. I cannot think of anyone who I could ask for help so far nor I reached out to anyone particularly. I'm hoping someone would be there to guide me if I start something new. Let's see. I've not thought of USP. You see that's where I'm confused at. I'm not good at judging what I do best. That's why Sampling. Any pointers...? How to find it?

Haha, we're ALL sorry for the late reply, lately - no worries! Late's good, actually, because the Newbies are still coming in steadily (hint-hint....give you my last Rolo and all that?...(don't ask, don't get...worth a try :)). " I've been researching about Zumba course nearby. I will ask my class instructor as well. She is an angel. I'm hoping she would help me in this. I sometimes feel, it would have been different (I mean not being in this dilemma) if I had a good mentor." Yes, if you're particularly creative then you tend to need someone more Left-brained - or vice-versa - to 'complete' you as a company owner. Hence why so many, even small companies hire accountants. You going to ask her (again - don't ask, don't get)? I imagine it'd be more fun with a partner or side-kick, as well. "I cannot think of anyone who I could ask for help so far nor I reached out to anyone particularly. I'm hoping someone would be there to guide me if I start something new. Let's see." Where are you? You sound British? "I've not thought of USP. You see that's where I'm confused at. I'm not good at judging what I do best. That's why Sampling. Any pointers...? How to find it?"" Loads. However, I know too little about Zumba, specifically, (Ceroc, yes - decades back) so - someone might be doing this already, but... Classes during the week, and a members plus guest disco every fortnight Sat night (that way, you become a social club, too, which is sorely needed considering loneliness and/or lack of real connection is now an epidemic). More than one guest and there's a small admission charge (look after the Pennies..., and all that). This could be open to those who buy an annual membership, say? Members get to show-off to their friend(s) and loved-one, everything they've learned so far. And guests are won-over and sign up. You don't make the Disco .SOLELY Zumba, though - for obvious reasons. Every other track at most, say, which gives the Funksters a chance to sit down and order a drink and watch what fun Zumba is. Obviously, you'd need an alcohol licence for these nights; otherwise, supply soft drinks BUT if it were me I'd research Colombian cocktails and try them all (OH, NO! :D) without the alcoholic content. Or make your own, considering Zero Alcohol laters and wines have come a long way in recent decades (and are enough to kid you're getting tipsy, anyway!)...e.g. n-a lager with cordials other than lime, same with the wine...Tonic Water tastes alcoholic, if you could find a Gin Essence (is there such a thing?)... Who knows what else you could add to Disco Nights? Give local stand up comedians a platform?...ditto any Zumba performer couples to give members and guests something to aspire to and measure their progress against? Before I get too carried away - what do you think? Sometimes, when someone suggests something, your disagreeing with it can spark your own idea off so - I shan't curl into the foetal position if you think it's pants. Ooh - pants - sell Zumba costumes and performance outfits! I'll shut-up now LOL...while I still can.

And you could include a Singles night ;) A Trans Night... Gay Night... Special classes for OAPs... And kids... (Help! LOL, brain won't shut-up now!)

"This could be open to those who buy an annual membership, say?" Strike that - it's capitalist-elitist! Open to all. (Wash my mouth out!) You could think about Pay As You Go for those who are too brassic to pay up-front?

PS: if you couldn't find a Gin essence - I forgot (duh): Tonic with Angostura Bitters...definitely tastes alcoholic and you add only a couple of drops of it, so it lasts ages. And then you could add sprigs of herbs, maybe?

(Just seen your response and offer to BlueHatGoo...er, have I got that the wrong way round? Well anyway: brilliant - thank you so much - (((grateful hug))))