Cheating

I cheated on my husband because I think he cheats on me. He went away for a few days, work thing. we had argued with me accusing him of cheating when away. He returned home and I stayed away in hotel I was fed up and wanted to get away. I had sex with a man I have been with in the past quite a few times. I used this man for sex as he dies with me. I returned home next day and he hadn’t slepted in our bed but in a single bed in the house. He said he arrived home after 11pm as the flight was late in and he was tired and just slepted in that bed. I don’t know if he had cheated on me when away and didn’t want to get in our bed because that’s where we sleep. He told me nothing went on when he was away. I dont know what to believe but maybe I’m to face as I don’t the dirty on him. At times I feel he takes me for granted and doesn’t appreciate me. I think he doesn’t need me and would be happy to carry on if I wasn’t with him. It’s like we are living together but I don’t know who he is deep down and what he’s hiding from me. We’re both in our 50s and been married over twenty seven years.

FREEDOM is the ability for positive energy to flow through the gardens of connections of life within us freely. The mind is a garden maze. We grow beLEAF through all of our experiences, what we do and what has been done to us. Our intentions, thoughts, words, actions, feelings, experiences. What we believe. The truth of your choice to cheat will never let you be free. It will always get in the way of your ability to feel peace. You will always have GUILT a big SNAG that gets in the way of your ability to move forward both consciously (with your awareness that you feel depressed) and subconsciously, as our TRUTH is always a part of our lives. If you don't feel guilt you have bigger problems, you haven't a conscience and you need to reconnect your life with truth and love, LIFE itself. Don't lie to yourself, don't make excuses, focus on truth and use the power of love in your heart not anger. There are all kinds of zombie movies because zombies are a symbol of the fact that people are losing the ability to LIVE, they are disconnected from their senses, their soul, the connection between the heart and mind. Zombies are 'THIRSTY'. And people with balance are FOUNTAINS. We ALL have the ability to create balance in our lives we just forget because we keep getting disconnected. We all have bad experiences. We are all surrounded by negative energy that is created with people that suffer and radiate their emotions. Its all in the air. BIRD BOX with Sandra Bullock is an important film to believe in. Just the other day that I wrote to another submission here on ‘Peoples Problems’ that I am very quiet by nature and that when I get married I imagine myself only saying things that are meaningful. It has since ‘bothered’ me that I said that because it isn’t true. I am snagged. The truth is that 'I imagine myself only saying things that are meaningful AND PLAYFUL!!' I am quite often VERY silly. Our lives CRAVE TRUTH because our LIFE IS TRUTH (and love). O Our lives NEED TRUTH. When we are not honest we can’t flow forward freely. CONNECTING LIFE, truth and love, is our purpose. Have you read the book THE GIVER, by LOIUS LOWRY or seen the FILM? One of the rules in the community is PRECISE LANGUAGE. Because it provides for LIFE. I have been on a cleaning binge these past couple of weeks to prepare for my upcoming birthday. If you took a photographs of before and after you wouldn’t see much difference at all. But everything FEELS entirely different because every speck of dust gets in the way of energy being able to flow through the home. The mind is the same. We have experiences that create snags that don’t allow free flow of positive energy. We grow both good and evil gardens, secure and insecure gardens, gardens that are created with life and give us life, and gardens that are created with fear confusion and disconnection that disconnect us from life. You are not WELL, your heart and mind are not connected. You have lost your senses. There are all kinds of reasons why this happens to all of us. In fact it is absolutely ESSENTIAL that I work all day every day to ensure that I stay connected... and when I get disconnected…. I cleanse my senses and I ‘go home’ (focus on what's truly important to me). BELIEF is in the air. CONNECTIONS that were once alive within another are in the air and in materials. There is no devil but there is negative energy all around us that comes alive when it is inside of us. If we don't practice OUR TRUE BELIEFS We will be carried away believing in things that are not true We all get possessed and possession can lead us into ALL KINDS OF DANGER. Have you heard of the CHEROKEE WOLF STORY? Look it up. If everyone understood and believed in this story they would manage their thoughts and feelings better, they would live better, and their energy would not create negative connections that disconnect their own life and the lives of the people around them. I suggest that you clean your house, minimize, steam, and disinfect as much as you can with the sunshine’s UV rays. Cleaning will help you feel better over all. There will be less negative energy around you. There will be more positive energy flowing around you connecting to you. You will have more CLARITY. You live with you. You need to get yourself connected physically, mentally and spiritually. You need to find peace. For your own sake. After you have done that you are going to have to be honest with your husband. You should write a letter and give it to him and the letter should include 3 components. 1. SCIENTIFIC UNDERSTANDING. What happened. What connections of experience (intention thought word action feeling belief experiences) lead up to what happened. What connections were made from external influences, what connections were made within. You said that you have been married for a very long time. Be honest with yourself, have you lost sight of the truth? What is REALLY on the table between the two of you? What are the good things about him? Also, have you heard the term ‘happy wife happy life?” Its real. YOUR ENERGY determines the energy in the home. We are all radiating and absorbing energy, possessing each other. Have you been a white or dark grey wolf? Have you oppressed him spiritually? Negative energy has a hold on everybody, ITS EVERYWHERE as there are all kind of people suffering for all different kinds of reasons, from across all time. (See Ghostbusters) Or do you have someone in your life that is internally hateful or jealous (they themselves tangled up in negative energy) of your life that may have radiated negative energy that has spent you spinning in an EMOTIONAL SPIRAL DOWNWARD (look that up)? 2. IDENTITY You have to define who you truly are. You have to define who your husband truly is. So that you can move forward aligned with the truth and not become someone that you are not. 3. VISION. What do you need to remember in the future? What do you want in the future? What do you need to move forward and free? I believe 100% that PHYSCIAL ABUSE and too much VERBAL ABUSE creates connections in our lives that no matter how much we try, we can’t get past. Especially if true healing through true remorse understanding, communication and commitment to grow doesn't take place. The SOUL KNOWS. Even if we are not consciously thinking about what has happened in our past, THE SOUL KNOWS and CAN NOT FUNCTION freely. THE SOUL NEEDS TRUTH AND LOVE to live inside and all around it. Have you been verbally abusing your husband? Carried away with energy? It is a woman's purpose to take care of their husband like they are a baby. I was just thinking the other day about all of the FEMINIST conflict. I am NOT a feminist by any means, I believe in EQUALITY. Nature is based on connections of life that change all of the time and through evolution. But for the most part I believe that women are mothers and the men in their lives are both their protectors and their babies. But men must behave deservingly of being nurtured like a baby. That doesn't mean that all women are one way and all men are another way, but for the most part they are. It all depends on the connections of life within. I know some women that are NOT nurturers and I know some men that ARE. The fact that we are all creating different connections of life within is one of the reasons why there are so many changes in who is 'coupling' in the world. Many people are looking for partners they can flow with, personal matches for their personal design. We should be RAISING one another. Men need help to see with perspective. Men are linear thinkers, like rockets, they take time to set course and then they GOGOGO with great power. Because of their deep focus and power men can get stuck in patterns. Women's energy is disbursed differently through more perspectives at once then men. Men need women to help give them PEACE and COMFORT. Women are full of LOTS of energy and men help women channel their energy. When we are in love, we cleanse each others energy. It is vital that we secure one another. Look at all of the understandings of life, all of the truths, all of the pieces of puzzle that we should have created in our youth, so that we could create great pictures. (memories) You are in a mess of trouble right now. Put the pieces together that will pave your path to freedom. I would suggest that you clean the house and take the time to write the letter and then give it to him (including this one), give him time and space to think about everything and ask him to take the time to answer the same 3 components so that you can decide how you want to move forward. Maybe he has cheated too and this is an opportunity for you both to get rid of the guilt that plagues you. Maybe you will both realize that negative energy has had a hold on both of you and you want to stand together as soldiers against it because you hate it for taking so much away from you? Or maybe you will decide to break up so that you can be free. In the future you might find one another again, or not. Either way your souls will be alive because you will understand yourself, each other…..and life. Remember at this point there isn't any interest in blame. Just understanding the truth so that you can move forward and free.

The song CLOCKS by COLDPLAY is running through my mind to recommend to you. Create a playlist of truths that support your vision. 'Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease' He is speaking of the war we ALL IN against negative energy. The responsibility we have to take care of our CLOCKS, OUR TIME, OUR TIE ME, OUR CONNECTIONS. OUR LIVES. Our intentions, thoughts, words, actions, feelings, beliefs, experiences. Happy wife Happy life. Are you creating a home that flows with positive energy or negative energy? Do you NEED your husband to make you happy? Or are you independent? Does he say and do things that hurt you? Are you both STUCK? I have spent my life tangled in spider webs There is nothing more wonderful than freedom CREATE IT BE THE CURE THAT IS TRULY NEEDED IN THE WORLD How you feel... How I feel... effects LIFE. So do what you need to do to feel PEACE.

LIFE IS THE DISCOVERY OF TRUTH AND CONSTANT PURSUIT OF FREEDOM FREEDOM is the free flow of connections of LIFE Positive (secure) connections of ENERGY What we do and what has been done to us What we create, radiate, absorb and believe INTENTIONS THOUGHTS WORDS ACTIONS FEELINGS BELIEFS EXPERIENCES We NEED to always strive to feel PEACE Negative energy is possessing everyone Disconnecting us from our senses Taking away our ability to think clearly We are living dangerously We MUST be aware of how we feel And CLEANSE OUR SENSES So that we can reconnect to our own lives and not the energy that connects to us We MUST limit the oil in us and on us Oil turns belief into flames that are hard to control forcing us to lose perspective of what matters to us We MUST drink lemonade to cleanse us of oils THE SOLUTIONS WE NEED TO CLEANSE OUR SENSES: SEA SALT FACE BOWLS STEAM FACE BOWLS STEAM SHOWERS HOT PEPPERS INSENCE SINGING PHYSICAL ACTIVITY MUSIC INSTRUMENT VIBRATIONS We MUST keep our homes and spaces clean and simple We MUST keep our minds clean and simple Using creative tools to help us manage our minds so we can feel free and peaceful We MUST DISCOVER TRUTH Enjoy putting the pieces of truth together that you need to support your freedom Explore Understand yourself Understand life Understand film Understand literature Understand art Understand music Understand your experiences Live with meaning PLAY Be creative Life can be easy Is all I have time for is TRUTH and LOVE FREEDOM LIFE gives me LIFE REMEMBER Negative energy has a hold on everybody We have all had experiences that have defined us and what life is to us in the wrong ways We have to protect and lead ourselves with TRUTH AND LOVE Move forward with freedom and peace.