No touching

My husband doesn’t touch my vagina. He touches my breast and bum but not there. I feel it makes him sick that’s why he avoids it. He as looked at porn in the past and I don’t know if he still does and I feel he as seen all these women perfect all over and down there then he sees mine and it puts him off. I feel really ugly and my body isn’t perfect but neither is his. I’m 52 and I know my faults. I wished I was getting older with all the wrinkles and saggy bits but I try to make the most of what I’ve got and get my hair done regularly dress nice, I’m always in pants a lot because I feel comfortable that way and do my best to make the most of me. If I had loads of money I would get all of myself done at a clinic to look great but I haven’t. Another guy never used to touch me down there either. Is it because it’s so horrible to them. I really feel I’m a freak because it’s that horrible to them. I had a guy years ago who gave me oral so he didn’t seem put off with it. My husband says he does touch me there and when I say he doesn’t he starts to touch it and I feel he’s forcing himself to do it. I touch him constantly down there. Am I ugly and repulsive to him down there. I say to have sex most times. I see him looking at other women and they look perfect and I get jealous that I’m not one of them

True love is mental not physical An orgasm is created from the connections of LIFE we have created within about the person we are with, not just physical experience in the moment. What intentions, thoughts, words, actions, feelings, beliefs, experiences are being created day to day?

I had a trainer once. He was pretty wonderful. I could tell that he wasn't looking at my body. He was always smiling and focusing on ME, the things I said, my reaction to the things he would say. What we were doing. I felt as if he was PRESERVING his belief. He was protecting his mind so that he could believe in what matters to him. Me, My mind. Not my temporary physical body. (One he saw me transforming, and knew he could transform through training) Being an elite trainer and physiotherapist for so many years I am sure he has gathered a lot of proof leading him to believe that appearances change and mean little compared to character and soul.

The mind is a garden The mind is like a bowl What we put into it Can come out What can get in the way our ability to be FREEEEEE? Be careful of what goes in your bowl The power of a kiss that is formed with pure beliefs of LOVE.... TRUE LOVE....... IS LIMITLESS. ACTUALLY TRULY PHYSICALLY MENTALLY SPIRITUALLY HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEAAAAAAALING

Life flows through life Life can not flow through disconnections If we live with purity Purity of mind Purity of body Our lives become powerful Believe in TRUTH and LOVE There are all kinds of thoughts we can have in a day Words Actions Feelings Beliefs Experiences GUIDE YOURSELF TO FREEDOM

Can someone who is sane but a proper answer on here not all the bull shit that’s been put on by Constant Gardener. They always put so much crap on. No doubt they are so religious and from America!

We are ALL angels, cleansing and blessing... connecting life. We are ALL demons, dirtying and damning...disconnecting life. We can even change between the two roles with an hour. Its ACTUAL ENERGY SCIENCE That religions around the world have TRIED to explain.

Yes, Constant Gardener, I'm afraid from what I've been seeing, I have to agree: Could you please frame your answers using only the references provided by the OP - addressing their points and questions head-on, preferably in order, in a PRACTICAL-emotional, common-sense way? These people aren't ready for that amount of spiritual talk and allegorising; they're freshly injured or freshly just out and off of a 'coma' on 'the Matrix', first just wanting to know, how the heck did I get all these injuries, and what to do about them and the situation, as well as prevent more incoming. Really, that drawing of parallels between the earthly and spiritual should come at the end of the Recovery Path when they can then see and appreciate what you can see? Just have a normal back and forth conversation...questions and answers, sympathising/empathising. Certainly, you can pepper your posts with those analogies and explanations, but, normal chatty and advisory conversation first, please. Try to imagine you're in a pub/bar, just you and they. Thanks. And, sorry. You're new, you weren't to know. ********************** LOLP, I understand your frustration (and I'll step in in a bit, this evening: just got another ongoing poster to tend to as she's been waiting for days already), but, please remember your verbal etiquette, no need for any Ad Hominem. You could have said what you said more nicely, yes? BRB.

Wait up, I've decided to do it now (the waiting OP's updates are very lengthy and I need a free mind). I'll paste your first post back in and we'll start again from here... "My husband doesn’t touch my vagina. He touches my breast and bum but not there. I feel it makes him sick that’s why he avoids it. He as looked at porn in the past and I don’t know if he still does and I feel he as seen all these women perfect all over and down there then he sees mine and it puts him off. I feel really ugly and my body isn’t perfect but neither is his. I’m 52 and I know my faults. I wished I was getting older with all the wrinkles and saggy bits but I try to make the most of what I’ve got and get my hair done regularly dress nice, I’m always in pants a lot because I feel comfortable that way and do my best to make the most of me. If I had loads of money I would get all of myself done at a clinic to look great but I haven’t. Another guy never used to touch me down there either. Is it because it’s so horrible to them. I really feel I’m a freak because it’s that horrible to them. I had a guy years ago who gave me oral so he didn’t seem put off with it. My husband says he does touch me there and when I say he doesn’t he starts to touch it and I feel he’s forcing himself to do it. I touch him constantly down there. Am I ugly and repulsive to him down there. I say to have sex most times. I see him looking at other women and they look perfect and I get jealous that I’m not one of them" It's not you. Your box isn't ugly. It's just NORMAL (and not photoshopped nor had make-up applied and all of that). It's his, by-now, corrupted sexual programme. He must have found porn at a very young age (either that or he's bloody impressionable!) and it's ruined his Mating Programme, basically, by showing perfect bits and creating ever-strengthening neural pathways in his mind that went something like, 'This perfect box is what makes A Box...Boxes should all look like this...perfect boxes are the norm and anything that diverts must be Not Normal'. Especially as his mind would have been Imprinting this association as an important, Reward one (for an internally self-made chemical rush, same as any other drug). So it got hard-filed as a leading Pleasure/Reward source. It is that easy to brainwash a kid (and in this case, ruin his chance to have a successful love-life). Remember when supermarkets stopped selling fruit and veg that had so much as a tiny kink in them? A lot of grocer shops must have gone bust. (And now the *Not* Unrealistically Perfect ones come back in again). (Me, I wondered whether, because of long-running, engineered visual perfection, A&Es started getting visitors who'd mistakenly eaten your home-decor, fake, wax ones, LOL....that'd learn them.) Also: Ever noticed that the MacDonald's burgers look nothing LIKE as perfect, thick and juicy as they're shown on the menu boards (NOTHING like!)? We know they're not like that. Because we tried one, then another, and then another...then dropped our expectation of ever getting one like depicted. But they're still bloody tasty so we don't care. He's never tried a real MacDonalds. Until you. Other than you, he's just been staring at that perfect picture and (cough) doing fast hand movements. He has a sexual problem due to a misbelief created by the drug peddlers called Porn Makers/Sellers that got him exposed too early and addicted. To wit: "Another guy never used to touch me down there either." -VERSUS THE EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE OF - I had a guy years ago who gave me oral so he didn’t seem put off with it." And YOU KNOW it's not you. Which is why you typed that. Yes. Correct. It's!... NOT! ...YOU! It's his 'type'. And evidently you've dated two of them. Two slightly crippled men. Are you a Rescuer by any chance? So, let's formally establish this fact on the record, and re-frame this problem as: Your husband has sexually been/become perverted and it's affecting your satisfaction in bed. How is it affecting things in all the other rooms? (I have solutions, so no worries. Just need greater detail and clarity, please/ta.)

Wait - You're Isomay! Sorry, I got the names mixed up. *********** I forgot this question: Has this ALWAYS been the case, throughout your marriage? (How long?) Or is it a fairly recent development?

And here's a fact to ponder: ALL genitals are ugly. If you want to look at it that way (scuse pun). Except when you love the person *AND* WERE PROGRAMMED RIGHT. When that's the case, you can't help but love every little inch of the person. My own genitals are BLOODY ugly if you ask me! But only if I stop and think about it, take it out of context. Like you've just 'made' me think about it because he's made YOU think about it...when it shouldn't be a thought, let alone an issue. But they are (weird-looking). Well, I've never seen a beautiful one on either gender - have you? It's not about what they look like, anyway (thank god for all of us LOL!), it's what they can DO. For us normal-healthies, I mean.