New friend is trauma dumping

I recently reconnected with a family friend awhile back. We've been texting back and things were going well. She seemed very kind, understanding and easy to share with. We both have anxiety and connected on that and seemed to click. One night she wanted to talk by phone, we hadn't talked for awhile and it turned to a few hour conversation. It started out good but turned into her just sharing her traumas with me one after another. Very detailed things that you might not say even in knowing people for years. It kind of worried me but I thought maybe she just was trying to catch up since it had been so long and overshared a bit. Also I had been sharing some family stuff with her and we both said we don't mind deep conversations. Next night she wanted to talk again and said wow we talked for a long time I said let's just talk for an hour. It turned into a 2.5 hour conversation. Granted I should have shut it down sooner. It turned into her wanting to finish sharing all her stories she didn't finish the night before. And that became even more nonstop more violent trauma stories one after the other. I barely even talked and just listened the whole time. She carried the conversation almost alone. Next day she said sorry if she overshared or bothered me. Maybe she feels she overdid it or I gave off a vibe. I feel hypocritical in one sense because I have been sharing family things too but not to that extent. I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I set boundaries or just let the friendship fade? She seems like a nice person but also said she struggles keeping friendships and people say she can be alot. I'm thinking this is why and if it's only going to be trauma dumping not sure if it's good for me mentally. I hate to lie when we were being honest with one another but not sure what to do.

I think you (specifically) will feel able to walk away with your head held high if you try the boundary setting first. She's obviously in a far worse state than you, incapable as yet of offering YOU a shoulder. The urge to tell someone ("In space no-one can hear you scream") is overriding all common-sense and gaining her the opposite of what she needs. Think, you've not eaten for 2 days but she's a starving Cambodian. One sandwich just won't do it. She's programmed to gorge, frenzilied at the mo. It's not a big problem. You just need to SAY - if this is going to be a regular thing, our being one another's therapist, then we need to do it properly and agree some vital structuring or we're both (cough) going to burn out rather quickly and fail miserably: Half an hour for you, half an hour for me. And we set an alarm. Never after 9pm except in a screaming emergency. (Etc.) Just be matter-of-fact about it. You're not threatening to abandon her or anything, you're just getting a bit professional about it according to how it works and succeeds, as opposed to ends up a big, heaving mess. Plus, she's given you an opening by showing she feels remiss and guilty for having had more stuff to vent than even she had realised....a bit like a Trolley Dash, yeah?

OR...better yet - it's her half-hour session every Tuesday eve and yours every Thurs eve. That way, you can concentrate on her stuff properly and remain uninfluenced by your own need to tell and so can she. Light at the end of the tunnel, isn't it. A Constant. ONE pigging person you can each rely on. And if she ends up too often breaking the rules and protocols, then you'll know that either you're out of your depth or SHE is (if you know what I mean).

Sorry, I forgot. And then you have whatever regularity of a Just Friends call, to just chew the fat. No sneaking-in more issues venting, either - or vice versa. Mutual Therapy Call, Friends Call. Be disciplined, the pair of you.