Should i?

I am physically disabled, unemployed, often bedbound due to sickness, I can't cook, I can't clean in the manner I wish that I could, I'm fat, I'm very unattractive, some missing teeth, my hair has been steadily falling out, I'm an introvert, I'm a homebody, I don't have friends,I don't have family, i have very low to non existing libido, I'm late 40s, I'm not inspirational, I'm not motivational, I'm not optimistic, I can be negative sometimes, I have zero interests and hobbies, I'm not smart, I'm not a conversationalist, I haven't done much of anything in life or with my life therefore I have problems relating and carrying out conversations. I don't have much to talk about, due to a dysfunctional and toxic upbringing I can be distant sometimes cold, I don't have much social skills, i have depression and traumas often etc... Knowing that I don't have anything to offer anyone.. Is there any hope for a relationship with a nice person, or would it just never workout with anyone?? I'm very lonely and I don't want to spend the rest of this life alone. Some admittedly very lonely neighbor that I talk to via internet sometimes..asked me to be his girlfriend. He came right out and said that he's very lonely and wants a person to spend possibly the rest of his life with. He thinks that person could be me because he considers me nice. If I were someone else with potential and could have options, he would not be my choice. He speaks very little English (turn off) His lack of confidence, low self esteem, low standards and expectations for himself willingness to settle out loneliness are all turn offs, and if I were different ...would be dealbreakers and red flags. But im not. I'm just irreparable broken me... Could this work out, or should I just give up on dating and any relationships?? He would probably leave me, especially if he were able to improve his life, and/or find someone else. He is allegedly a faithful man (according to him) even if he wasn't... I don't mind if he were to cheat.. I would understand.. I just don't want anyone to leave.. I'm tired of living my days with only the television to fill some of the silence. Is this a bad idea? Should I just accept the loneliness?

Hi again, Tidd, Is this the guy you recently broke your 3-yr celibacy with (ref your other thread)? What does your doctor say about all of this?

Feeling lonely is normal. I am no therapist but I know. What do u think about pets, esp Cats. Ever tried it ? Even if you dont want to "adopt" a pet do something like this. Trust me will help you a lot. It did for me. Just for once go to animal rescue center near you and volunteer to help with rescued animals. Clean their cages if you will but the love you will receive from them would be phenomenal and be the first step to boost your self esteem. These animals are not looking at your physical appearance they are the feeling beings. They will feel your compassion and the response you will get would be amazingly rewarding. Do this just one time and let me know how you feel

Excellent idea, Sense! I grew up with cats, can't recommend them enough. Not high maintenance at all, and (eventually) so much more affectionate and lap-friendly than dogs - IF you show them respect in terms of taking the small trouble to read up on cat psychology first so that you aren't going to unwittingly be violating their boundaries (e.g. "sideways swishing tail" equals stop trying to touch me, leave me alone" or they'll scratch you); But they're not reliant on you to the big extent dogs are, e.g. they're not constantly at your heels, following you around everywhere, not have they lost their ability to hunt their own food, plus - no walkies every morning and night without fail (albeit you CAN *accompany* them on their walks). So there's no Master-Servant dynamic, it's got to be EQUAL...and that is great practise at developing your 'incoming radar' sensitivity towards relationships with people, especially as, with the feedback you get, you can TELL whenever their trust and love of you goes up a level each time. A couple of mine used to let me walk them into town with me on a little leash...haha, if you're looking for attention and to be stopping and chatting to people every few paces (I wasn't, but...) then that beats being a dog-walker hands-down! (in fact, that's why I switched to walking them only in the woods instead, LOL). One such 'progress report' I remember (couldn't forget if I tried!) was - and I was about 11 at the time? - I was sat on the living-room sofa, crying, and the next thing I knew, my cat jumped up onto my lap, 'climbed' upmy chest until she was face-to-face (btw, females are best, they don't run away), patted/batted at my tears, then rubbed her face and forehead against my cheek, KEEPING HER FACE THERE FOR AGES AFTERWARDS, PAWS AROUND MY NECK! I immediately stopped crying because I was gobsmacked! (..haha, not literally, she was very gentle). I also showed her how to open the fridge and help herself to her food (foil topped, easily clawed open). And she was my hot-water-bottle - oh, yes, and my alarm-clock, would gently nibble my neck (which she knew tickled and made me laugh...lovely way to be woken). VERY intelligent, loving and loyal, are cats, a lot of people don't realise. Her name was Geraldine (tho I had a nickname for her that being a site 'resident', I can't put on here), my longest running puss...lived to a very old age...and decades and decades later, I still miss her. ...In fact, I'd go as far as to say: owners don't train cats - cats train owners. But in a practical sense: if you have a bedbound day - yes, the cat will mew for the food you normally give it, but if that's not forthcoming, it will go for take-out...although you might find a (mostly licked-cleanO) mouse or bird heart/liver deposited on your living-room floor (which, actually, is how cats give their owners gifts to say, 'I love you, mum/dad so, I saved you the best, most nutritious bit')...albeit, to get around that you can just leave extra food the night before if you can tell you're going to be having a bad day. There again, even if you do feed them religiously, you'll still get those little 'gifts' from time-to-time. So, yup, brilliant recommendation! Think and read up about it, Tidds. It would definitely improve your wellbeing. Even just stroking a cat is highly therapeutic for your heart and whole bodily and mental system. In truth - we're the ones that grow to depend on THEM. And that's why. ...Haaaah....Memory Lane... :) (...actually, fckt, as soon as my house improvement work is done, I'm off to a cat shelter!) (Haha, cheers, Sense!)

"One such 'progress report' I remember (couldn't forget if I tried!) was - and I was about 11 at the time? - I was sat on the living-room sofa, crying, and the next thing I knew, my cat jumped up onto my lap, 'climbed' upmy chest until she was face-to-face (btw, females are best, they don't run away), patted/batted at my tears, then rubbed her face and forehead against my cheek, KEEPING HER FACE THERE FOR AGES AFTERWARDS, PAWS AROUND MY NECK! I immediately stopped crying because I was gobsmacked! (..haha, not literally, she was very gentle)." I think, basically, if you're very close to a cat and they're the only one, surrounded by humans, they can adopt your human ways of expression (like that one) because they can start to believe they're almost human too. But - meow! - that can obviously work both - meow! - ways. (haha)

But anyway, Tidds - "Some admittedly very lonely neighbor that I talk to via internet sometimes..asked me to be his girlfriend. He came right out and said that he's very lonely and wants a person to spend possibly the rest of his life with. He thinks that person could be me because he considers me nice." As he was very candid - why don't you be, and say something like - I'm not in the right place for a romantic relationship right now, plus I don't own a crystal-ball, so, why don't we start as friends...into best friends....see where it leads? If it's company you're after at this point, then, me too!'. Plan? ...AND get a kitty.

"But anyway, Tidds - " Sorry - Tidd. I was thinking Tiddles when I wrote that! :D But, actually, I forgot to mention: bloody EVERYBODY is lonely - and aaaaall over the globe - lately! It's now being CALLED the Loneliness Pandemic. "The", note. Not "a" (diff/all the diff?).