Gift exchange advice

My husband and I host a family get together every Christmas Eve for our adult children and grandchildren (we have 5). We also invite my adult great-niece and her family (husband, children (3), and sisters (2) that live about 45 minutes away. We buy our grandchildren five gifts each and my niece’s children and sisters one gift each. It’s always kind of awkward when handing out gifts because our grandchildren have more to open. Should we only hand out one gift each to each child and save the others for when my niece and her family leave to go home, try to have an earlier gift exchange before Christmas Eve with our family (which is very inconvenient), or just continue on as we have for the past couple of years?

Hi and sorry for the long delay! Forum regulars are too thin on the ground at the moment. It is a free-for-all public forum of the traditional/old-fashioned variety, though, so, according to how it's supposed to work, please would you post a reply or two (your impressions/opinion/advice or sympathy - or just say Hi and that you're taking an interest in their problem!) to the other thread-creators who are sat waiting with you? (And note this same message is going to all of you.) Once our regulars, including myself, are in a position to, they'll no doubt contribute as well. Thanks! Soulmate

HeBobCat - huge apologies again, it's not been an easy month already! Hope to god you're still checking in... (Not reading ahead, just responding para by para...) "My husband and I host a family get together every Christmas Eve for our adult children and grandchildren (we have 5). We also invite my adult great-niece and her family (husband, children (3), and sisters (2) that live about 45 minutes away." Blimey! That must be expensive?! "We buy our grandchildren five gifts each" WOAH! Steady on there, sister?! "and my niece’s children and sisters one gift each." Ah.. that's a bit...apartheid,... isn't it? Shouldn't all the kids be treated equally? "It’s always kind of awkward when handing out gifts because our grandchildren have more to open." Ah - there we go - you do know it already. " Should we only hand out one gift each to each child" YES. " and save the others for when my niece and her family leave to go home," If you mean AFTER they go - YES. "try to have an earlier gift exchange before Christmas Eve with our family (which is very inconvenient)," No, then. "or just continue on as we have for the past couple of years?" Definitely, definitely not. I just hope it hasn't caused senses of deprivation or bitterness out of perceived favouritism already. BUT YES - it's time to correct it. Well done! Crikey, that was short, sweet and easy? Wasn't expecting that after the novels I've just had to write! Cool - Thanks! LOL Just out of nosiness... How did it get that unequal, anyway? Started off too generous and then couldn't manage it once more kiddies got born?

Actually...on second thoughts... "" and save the others for when my niece and her family leave to go home," If you mean AFTER they go - YES." NO. Even if the grand-neices don't know the grandkids are getting more - the grandkids will...and it could give them a sense they're a favourites, leading to a sense of superiority over the former that you don't even get to detect (but the "non-favourites" do). Just one each. Times are tough, now - they've got to realise that like all young kiddies of today. So there's your non-personal or -insulting excuse that they and their parents will find perfectly reasonable and understandable - no-one upset - perfect. ONE EACH. Idea! You COULD buy a group gift like a garden Swingball that they can all from now on play in yours and Gramp's garden?? That's team-building, rather than (even accidentally) creating a division and subjective heirarchy. Plus, visiting granny and grandad will be extra-exciting! But, naturally, if the grandkids visit more often, they get to enjoy it more. Win/Win! Two birds with one stone, look! :) Plan, Stan?

Or/AND an outdoor ping-pong table - NOW you're talking! "Wanna go granny and grandad's or to the park this weekend" / "Granny and Grandaaaad's!!" In fact, that way, even when they hit the age when normally you (and the parents) become too "uncool" to hang out with - YOU WON'T! Look at that - solving a future problem you don't even have yet! Am I good or am I good. ;) And obviously, a paddling pool with sprinkler and one of those long, slippy-slidey ground-sheet thingumybobs for summertime. In fact, that sounds so good even I might start to visit! Where are you? (haha)

Haha, reminds me of that film starring Kevin Costner: "If you build it - they will come". :D (Name the film!) (Especially as I can't remember and can't be arsed to google...Field of something, I think?)