Is she into me?
XXXIX1662 - Jan 7 2024 at 02:53
Hello! I'm hoping you can help.
I was recently let go from my job. (Long story.) That's not why I'm here. A woman with whom I've become acquainted, and would frequent my former place of employment, I believe is interested in me. It started with the little things--smiling whenever she'd see me and laugh when I'd tell a joke. A few times, she rubbed my upper arm and hug me more frequently. Once, she came to my house out of the blue and gave me some food because she thought I'd like it. I didn't think anything of it at the time, because I thought she was being nice.
A while ago, we were having a conversation and she asks me about my relationship. (I was dating someone at the time.) I told her I was dating someone, but it wasn't working out. We left the conversation at that. The touching on the arm and hugging stopped after that, too.
Now, that I'm leaving my job, she texts me and asks if we could get together. I don't know if she just wants to say goodbye or is generally interested in starting a relationship. There is a 25 year gap between us (she's older). What should I do about this? And, yes, she is VERY attractive, but I want to make sure I'm not overthinking things before I pursue anything.
All you can do is catch up with her to find out what she really wants. Age doesn't come into it if she's a genuine person. Follow your gut & listen to her actions, rather than her words & ask yourself just what is it that you expect & need from a relationship & don't worry about pursuing anything just yet. If this woman is no good, then you'll soon find out, but if that's all OK with you, then so be it.
Just a few questions from me, please, XXXIX62...Just want to check something on your behalf because something strikes me as a bit iffy... I feel she could do with a quick security frisk:
This much older woman obviously knows you've left the company, meaning, safe to re-approach without being immoral nor being seen as such by management.
Having said that, I must just quickly point out a glaring and rather curious moralistic inconsistency/dichotomy - in fact, potential contradiction - on her part:
Question 1: Even if you HAD been single at the time - where was her regard for today's pretty universal, workplace ethic in terms of not treating the workplace like a personal playground come dating ground by flirting or starting a romantic relationship with a colleague/boss? Where was her respect for her bosses and for authority, generally (and, for that matter, workplace heirarchy)? Or are we talking, the sort of workplace that features too high a staff-turnover rate for management to be bothered about stuff like that?
However (question 2): Is she equally aware - TO point of certainty - that you are no longer in that or any, new relationship?
Question 3: Had she been aware of the significant age-difference, meaning, technically old enough to be your mother, *prior* to commencing flirting with you - or, found out from you in the process - or, has learned only since?
Q4: How long after you'd left, did you and your ex break-up?
Q5: And were you upset - and are you still?
Oh wait - Q6: How old is she?